


Only Him, Only You (and His OnlyFans)

by distantattraction



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bottom Sylvain Jose Gautier, Camboying, Getting Together, Lingerie, M/M, Masturbation, Sex Work, Top Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:28:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 23,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26451874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/distantattraction/pseuds/distantattraction
Summary: Through an unfortunate accident involving a bumped computer mouse and a barely hidden secret, Felix discovers that Sylvain runs a very active OnlyFans profile on which he is often very,verynaked. Sylvain persuades him to check out his content, and Felix finds that he is not as immune to Sylvain's charms as he wants to be.
Relationships: Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier, Sylvain Jose Gautier/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 34
Kudos: 343
Collections: Sylvix Big Bang





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my Sylvix Big Bang fic! My partner is [Sara @277yen](https://twitter.com/sawaT___T), and they are working on some really fantastic illustrations to accompany the fic. The art will be embedded in the fic on AO3, posted to their twitter, and uploaded on the special [mock OnlyFans carrd](https://onlyvain.carrd.co) coded for this project by [Diana @letrasette](https://twitter.com/letrasette)! The carrd is also hyperlinked within the fic ;)
> 
> Please make sure to enable the work skin if you are viewing the fic on mobile, or else the embedded art won't display properly :(
> 
> This project has been a long time coming, and I'm very proud of what we've put together. I hope you enjoy it!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix uncover's Sylvain's sexiest, worst-kept secret.

_GAME OVER_ flashes across the screen in huge, bright letters as Sylvain groans and hangs his head. "How are you this bad at a game you own and love playing?" Felix asks, looking over at him in awe. It's honestly impressive how spectacularly Sylvain loses.

"How are _you_ so good at it when you hate fun?" Sylvain glares at him. It's ineffective for two reasons: first, Felix has a much better death glare than Sylvain. Secondly, Sylvain is pouting like a puppy that's just been denied a treat, which rather takes the bite out of it.

"I think it's pretty fun to demolish you at video games," Felix says, his voice light with mocking dissent. "Should I prove it by wrecking you again?"

"Yes, but take a selfie with me first," Sylvain says, setting his controller down on the bed. Felix frowns as Sylvain grabs his phone.

"Why do I have to take a stupid selfie with you?"

"Because I promised my fans I would take a picture with you next time you came over, and I want to do it before you make me cry by beating all of my high scores. Come on, smile!" Sylvain leans over, pressing his head up against Felix's and throwing up a peace sign. Felix does not smile. He's not actively scowling either, but he's got a case of resting bastard face that is only emphasized by Sylvain's huge grin.

He takes the selfie anyway. Felix is sure Sylvain's gonna post it, too. Sylvain is always talking about how much his followers like his content. Felix has no fucking idea what Sylvain's "content" is. Shirtless selfies? Something else sufficiently whorish to satisfy Sylvain's need for attention? If Felix cared enough to check his Instagram more than once every five months, maybe he'd find out.

But that sounds like a waste of time. He didn't even make the Instagram account. Sylvain just stole his phone one day and set it up for him. Felix doesn't even remember the password.

"Why do you keep calling them your fans, anyway?" Felix asks as Sylvain messes around with filters. "You're not a celebrity. You're just a guy posting selfies."

"They are my fans, though," Sylvain says, not bothering to look up until he's posted the photo. "Anyway, let's get back to the game. I'm not gonna let you leave until I've at least won one round."

"Guess I'm never leaving your shithole apartment then," Felix says, raising his controller.

"Our apartments are identical," Sylvain says. He keeps his eyes locked on the screen as the timer counts down. "Except yours is the one with the broken washing machine."

"At least mine's not the one with the shitty gamer living in it."

After Felix has predictably thrashed Sylvain, he grabs his stuff to go. Sylvain demands that Felix come back every day until Sylvain finally wins, which Felix does not agree to because they are working adults who have to go to their jobs once the weekend is over. But Felix knows it won't be long before he's back in Sylvain's bedroom. They live right next door to each other, and Felix likes seeing Sylvain's stupid face a few times a week. Besides, Sylvain never remembers to eat real meals. Someone has to make sure he doesn't starve to death.

As he makes his way out of the room, Felix trips on a loose cord. He catches himself on the edge of Sylvain's desk, jostling the mouse. He glances over at the monitor and freezes.

"Sylvain."

"What's up?"

"Why is there a picture of you using a dildo on your computer?"

Sylvain's head is barely in the shot, but Felix can just make out a shock of red hair in the background. The Sylvain in the picture is lying naked on his bed—the bed that Felix sat on to play video games today, last week, and countless times before that—with his hips up and his legs spread wide. He's got one arm grasping the base of the dildo, which is just far enough out of his body for Felix to see how thick it is. It's a still image, but the posing makes it easy to imagine Sylvain thrusting the dildo into his ass.

"Oh, that." Sylvain looks at the computer with a shocking level of casualness. Felix cannot look away from it, as much as he would like to. He is transfixed by shock, or horror, or whatever you call the combination of the two. "I was jacking off last night, so I took a picture for my fans."

Felix tears his eyes away from the computer so he can yell at Sylvain. "What the fuck kind of fans want to see that? Why are you _showing_ them that?"

"It's my OnlyFans," Sylvain says. He sounds confused, like he has no idea why Felix is so furious. "The porn is the main attraction."

Felix blinks, his rage temporarily blocked by a complete lack of understanding. "It's your what?"

"My OnlyFans? You know, that site that all the porn actors are on now? Wait, you probably don't know that. You're really missing out, Felix. You would not believe how hot the models on this site are. It's fun to post on, too. There's no shortage of hot guys on there, but people seem to really like me. And shooting video every now and then is a really fun way to keep the sex interesting." Sylvain pauses. He waves a hand in front of Felix's face. "Felix? Buddy? You still in there?"

He slaps Sylvain's hand away and speaks through gritted teeth. "So you're telling me that you're always in here, fucking or jacking off and filming it, and you let me sit on the gross bed where you do it?"

"Hey! My bed is _nice._ I've got a bouncy mattress and soft sheets that I change like every two days. And this is where all my streaming equipment is! Where else would we play games?"

Felix flexes his hand, clenching and unclenching his fists. Is it even worth it to deck Sylvain right now? No, he decides, he can do that once they're back in the front room. "I'm never coming back in here," he says.

"What? Come on, Felix, don't be like that." Felix walks out to the living room, his right hand settling into a fist. Sylvain follows him. "I don't get why you're so mad. You already know I have a lot of sex. You make a lot of comments about keeping the noise down. Where did you _think_ I was doing it?"

Felix draws back his arm and throws his fist forward. He's faster than Sylvain, but years of stupid fights have honed Sylvain's skills when it comes to avoiding this specific kind of punch. Felix barely clips him on the jaw. Sylvain makes a big show of stumbling back like Felix really got him.

"You know, I always thought it was weird how many dildos I would find in your apartment, but I always just figured you were using them for your stupid sexcapades." Felix grits his teeth. Sylvain just rubs his chin thoughtfully.

"That is what they're for, though?" he says.

Felix punches him again, and this time, Sylvain doesn't manage to dodge. He tumbles onto his couch.

" _Fuck,_ Felix, that hurt! You throw so many punches at me, would it kill you to pull a couple?"

"Holding back would be disrespectful," Felix says. "You took tae kwon do with me for years. You are a peer, and you deserve to get knocked down like one."

"The difference is that I quit, and you picked up three more styles of martial arts." Sylvain touches his cheek and winces. "This better not bruise. I have a date tomorrow, and having a black eye will give the wrong first impression. I'm a lover, not a fighter."

"It won't bruise." Felix speaks firmly, leaving no room for doubt. He _is_ pulling his punches. If he actually wanted to hurt Sylvain, he would have just broken his nose. But Felix figured out years ago how to knock Sylvain to the floor without actually hurting him. It was the only way he and Ingrid could force Sylvain into time out; he never listens to them otherwise. Felix sighs and walks to the door.

"You wouldn't be so mad if you saw what I do on my OnlyFans," Sylvain says.

Felix turns on him. "Why would seeing that change my mind?"

"Because I'm really, _really_ sexy."

It takes Felix a second to realize there's no punchline here. "So what?" he asks.

" _So,_ I'm irresistible. If you saw me, I bet you'd get so turned on you forgot you were ever pissed."

Felix snorts. "Please. You're not hot enough for that."

"We'll see." Sylvain's voice promises the kind of mischief that Felix loved when they were younger, before Sylvain grew up and discovered girls, before Felix grew up and realized his brother wouldn't always be around to cover for them.

Felix doesn't answer him. He just goes home.

When he checks his email that night, Felix finds a free month's subscription to [onlyfans.com/ridingexpert6969](https://onlyvain.carrd.co). _so you don't have any excuses not to check me out ;)_ the email reads. Stupid. Gross. Felix makes an account anyway because he wants to see just how stupid and gross Sylvain is on this site.

The profile picture is a fairly standard selfie of Sylvain winking and sticking his tongue between two spread fingers in the pussy eating gesture. The header, on the other hand, is a studio-quality photo of Sylvain lying stretched out on a table. He wears nothing but a black leather harness with more rivets than Felix can count, a matching pair of tight black leather pants, and his riding boots. Felix almost doesn't recognize them without their usual covering of dust and hay, but Sylvain has obviously polished them for the photo. They catch the pink lights of the studio.

Blue light highlights the curves of Sylvain's body. It gives his hair an otherworldly glow, like a star bursting around his face. Like a halo stolen by an incubus. It makes Sylvain look like something more than human, or less than one.

There are hundreds of posts. From the look of it, he's made at least one a day for most of a year. Felix scrolls through them as fast as he can.

Video of Sylvain fucking himself with a dildo. Picture of Sylvain wearing his gaming headset and holding a controller. Screenshot of his Grindr profile. Picture of four sex toys captioned _Which one should I use tonight?_ 😜 Shirtless gym selfie. Video of Sylvain jacking off with the hem of his shirt in his mouth to show off his abs. Picture of Sylvain spreading his ass cheeks to show a black ceramic rose peeking out of his hole, captioned _Trying out a new buttplug, what do you think?_ 😉 Bathroom mirror selfie of Sylvain completely naked with the tiniest of washcloths covering his dick.

Two selfies with a girl Felix actually remembers seeing come out of the apartment next door, the first captioned _Just had an incredible time eating Isabella's immaculate pussy_ 👅. In the second picture, both Sylvain and Isabella are licking a set of anal beads, which Sylvain apparently wore while fucking her. There's even an old selfie of himself and Sylvain standing outside a restaurant. Felix clicks on it when he notices there are comments.

bunniebaby19: ur friend is so hot!! any chance we'll see u 2 together on video??

ridingexpert6969: probably not 😟🥺 but who knows, maybe we'll both get lucky 😜😜😜

He rolls his eyes. As if _that's_ ever going to happen. Felix wouldn't be caught dead on Sylvain's sex site.

In one thumbnail, Sylvain is strangely dressed. He's fully dressed, actually, his business suit and tie completely at odds with the nearly naked Sylvain of the surrounding photos. Felix clicks on it, wondering if he somehow managed to upload a work video accidentally. Or on purpose. Felix has no trouble imagining Sylvain publicizing his family's business secrets in a porn video.

The Sylvain on the screen yawns and stretches. "I have had a very long day at work," he says. "Every day I'm amazed by how many meetings the same team can have. Haven't we met enough?" He drops his chin onto his hand and sighs dramatically. "If I didn't know I was coming home to record for you guys, I would never have made it to six o'clock! But I kept a little reminder with me. Wanna see?"

Sylvain tilts the camera up and presses a button on the keyboard before he stands. Upbeat music plays as he gets into position, making sure his body is in frame from his head to his thighs. Felix doesn't know the song, but he doesn't know many. Sylvain seems to like it. He bobs his head and taps his fingers in time with the beat.

The first thing to go is his jacket, which Sylvain tosses carelessly onto the floor. Next is the tie. Sylvain squashes it into a messy bundle before dropping it onto the jacket.

"Glad to get rid of those," Sylvain says. A hint of genuine annoyance slips in past his playful persona. Felix snickers. Sylvain looks good in neckties, but he hates wearing them. Predictably, Sylvain's father requires him to wear a suit and tie every day in the office.

Sylvain hums along to the music as he unbuttons his shirt. He takes his time, starting with the buttons at his cuffs before moving up to his neck. "I know I look good in this kind of thing," he says, "but it's not my favorite. Anyone can pull off a suit. But can anyone pull off this?"

He holds his half-unbuttoned shirt open like Superman, but there's no red and blue supersuit beneath Sylvain's clothing. Instead, the delicate lace and ornamental straps of a bold teal bra show through the gap.

"If the boys at work could see me now," Sylvain says, grinning at the camera. "They should already know I'm a fine piece of ass, but they don't get to see just _how_ fine my ass is." He unzips his pants as soon as he finishes his sentence.

The bottom hem of his shirt covers his underwear, but Felix can see a bluish shape through the white. Sylvain pushes his pants down his legs, revealing another surprise as they fall past his thighs. A wide band of black lace tops the sheer black of his stockings.

He wore those to _work?_

"My feet were sliding around in my shoes all day," Sylvain says with a cute but fake little pout. "They just weren't made for this kind of hosiery, I guess. But I was."

Felix hates to admit it, but he's right. The stockings cling to Sylvain's skin, accenting the curves of his muscled thighs. He does a little spin for the camera. Sylvain pauses with his back turned and looks coyly over his shoulder, a coquettish smile on his lips. The open white dress shirt ending just above his thigh highs is somehow even more indecent than the photos of Sylvain wearing nothing at all.

"You still haven't seen my favorite part of the outfit," Sylvain says. He tears through the rest of his buttons and throws his shirt aside to fully reveal his underwear.

The panties are sheer fabric contrasted with eye-catching lace, all in the same shade of teal as the bra. Felix's gaze is drawn instantly to the lace-covered pouch at the center, heavy with Sylvain's dick. Two vertical strips of lace frame the pouch, and two more angle outward along the sides. He turns in a slow circle to let the camera see the back of the panties.

The two bands of lace at the front don't just accent Sylvain's bulge. They curve around the base of his ass cheeks, leaving a window of bare skin between the lace and the sheer back of the panties. The waistband on this side is more lace. Under that, a triangular hole reveals the skin just above Sylvain's ass.

"Ta-da!" Sylvain says once he's finished his spin. He wiggles his hips in a silly dance that is still somehow enticing. "What do you think? Do you love it? I love it. I had to get it custom made. Not a lot of panties out there that can fit my package, and even fewer in my favorite color. And _none_ with a matching bra! What was I gonna do, _not_ highlight my tits?" He runs his hand down the center of his chest. "I don't fucking think so."

Something strange happens in Felix's mouth. He's producing too much saliva. He swallows thickly, but he still feels thirsty. Felix grabs his water bottle and takes a swig, barely noticing that his grip on the bottle is tighter than usual. His eyes are still locked on Sylvain.

"The designer I hired was worth every penny. These panties are perfect for a guy like me." Sylvain turns and rests his forearms on the foot of the bed. He leans over with his ass in the air. "They're great eye candy, and they've got plenty of holes for you to stick your fingers in."

Sylvain reaches back to dip into the keyhole at the center of his panties, his fingers sliding down toward his own hole.

The movement of those fingers holds Felix transfixed. They drop down, down, how far down will they go? Will Sylvain reach inside his hole? Will he finger himself open behind that thin curtain of sheer fabric?

When Sylvain pulls his hand out without diving into himself, Felix gasps for air he didn't know he needed. He wonders when he started holding his breath. The recorded Sylvain has no answers for him. He just turns to face the camera again, a sly smile on his face.

"What's in _here?_ " Sylvain asks, pulling lightly on the waistband of his lacy panties. Felix gulps. 

Sylvain tugs them down just far enough for the camera to catch a glance of his bright red bush before he lets the waistband snap back into place. "Well, I'll save that for another time."

Felix actually feels disappointed. And then he feels a lot of things all at once, something weird and convoluted that he files under "angry." He closes the tab and endeavors to forget about the site completely.

Sylvain, on the other hand, is determined to remind him it exists. The very next day, he sends Felix an _im streaming in five minutes!!!_ text. He includes a link to his OnlyFans, as if Felix could possibly have forgotten what site it was on.

Felix resolutely ignores the text for ten minutes, at which point he realizes he's been reading the same page of a work report for ten minutes without getting past the first paragraph. He sighs and sits down at his computer.

He manages to mess around for another thirty seconds before curiosity grips him by the throat. Gritting his teeth, he types Sylvain's stupid username into the browser and clicks on his stupid OnlyFans. Sylvain's livestream is at the top of the page. Felix clicks on that, too.

Sylvain is already naked by the time Felix starts watching. He's sitting on the foot of his bed, legs spread wide, his arm moving up and down as he jerks himself off. At least, that's what Felix assumes he's doing. There's a water bottle in front of the camera, carefully placed to censor Sylvain's junk while leaving his bare chest and legs unobstructed.

Felix snorts. This is ridiculous. You can't even see anything. There are people paying for this shit? People on the internet are idiots, Felix decides, and Sylvain is the biggest idiot of them all.

"I hope I didn't set the goal too high," Sylvain says, still casually jerking himself off behind the water bottle. "It's still early, but there are a lot of regulars I haven't seen in the chat yet. If you're not careful, I might come before you even have a chance to see anything. Oh, HB! There you are. I was hoping you'd show up." Sylvain winks at the camera.

Several jealous viewers start clamoring for attention in the chat and demanding that Sylvain mention them, too. Sylvain laughs, a warm rumble that ignites a strange sensation in the pit of Felix's stomach. "Okay, okay," he says. "If you tip five bucks, I'll say hi to you. Deal?"

It's a deal. It's also a shockingly successful business tactic. Sylvain goes from having fifty dollars of his six hundred dollar goal to over two hundred just from eager viewers trying to get him to say their stupid usernames. If he applied himself to his real job like this, the Gautier family business would make record profits. Then again, that's probably the exact reason Sylvain doesn't try hard at work. It's no secret how much he hates his father's company.

"Let's play a game," Sylvain says when he's finished with the names. "'Show us your cock.' That's not the game I was thinking of, but it _would_ be fun. If only we had enough tips! I was thinking more like, for every twenty dollar tip, I will touch myself wherever you want me to."

Two tips come in within a minute, the comments reading _TITS_ and _nipples_. Sylvain laughs. "You guys know what you want," he says. His left hand reaches up to caress his own chest. He fondles his nipples, pinching and flicking his finger across them, jerking himself off the whole time. "Where next?"

Thirty dollars says, _finger yourself_. "Are you sure?" Sylvain asks, spreading his legs wider. "You can't see what I'm doing to my hole back here. I'll still do it, though." He sucks noisily on his fingers for a moment. Once they're slick with spit, Sylvain reaches down past the blurry water bottle and touches himself. Or he fakes it. Either way, his shudders and stifled moans are convincing. His thighs twitch, his hips jumping up to meet his fist where it grasps his hidden cock.

A tip for the entire remainder of the goal comes through. _SHOW US THE GOODS,_ the comment reads.

Sylvain freezes mid-stroke, blinking at the screen. "Um, wow," he says, dumbfounded. "I was expecting this to take longer. hornydude42069, I respect both your username and your money. Folks, please thank that horny dude for keeping you from getting too thirsty. And now, let's all get wet together." With that, Sylvain tugs on a string, sending the water bottle blocking the camera flying off the desk.

Felix expects to see Sylvain's dick standing at attention when their view is unobstructed. If he had wanted to, he could have imagined it with ease; Sylvain's stupid OnlyFans page is full of pictures of himself with his cock at varying levels of hardness.

What Felix doesn't expect to see is a red silicone ring around the base of Sylvain's cock, drawing much more attention to Sylvain's balls than Felix is really comfortable with. His shaft is slick with lube or precum or both. Sylvain strokes himself comfortably, watching the chat scroll by. He keeps fondling his entrance, his fingertips just barely dipping into his hole.

"Wow," he says. "You're all very excited to see Jose Jr. He's glad to see you too." Sylvain slaps his cock against the mattress a couple of times. "It's a little early just to go to town and get myself off, but! I've got one more trick up my sleeve. Here, listen." Sylvain cups his hand behind his ear.

There is a quiet click followed by a less quiet buzzing sound. Sylvain shivers, a smile creeping onto his face. Another click, and then the buzzing stops.

"Ooh, that was good. Always invest in a quality bullet vibe," Sylvain tells the camera. "No matter what genitals you have, you'll appreciate it. So yes, the cock ring vibrates, and now it's your turn again! I'm going to jerk off, and you guys will vote on whether I turn it on or take it off." He types something using a wireless keyboard sitting behind him. A poll with instructions to vote via tips pops up in the chat. "Ready... Go!"

A shocking number of tips come pouring in. Thirty seconds into the two minute timer, it becomes overwhelmingly clear that Sylvain is going to be turning the vibrator on. He pretends to be shocked when the timer ticks down.

"Who'd have thought you'd want to see the vibrator get some use? Thanks for letting me have a little fun. I appreciate it," Sylvain says. He winks at the camera. Felix feels a strange twinge below his stomach.

Sylvain clicks the vibrator on. His hips jerk forward, sending his cock into his fist with more enthusiasm than before."Fuck, that's good," he says, biting his lip. He spreads his legs wider so the audience can get a good look at him.

He works his cock at a brisk pace. Sylvain twists his hand on the upstroke. Occasionally, he lets his thumb brush over the head. The pressure must be good. Sylvain lets out a little hum every time he touches the slit.

It doesn't take long for his strokes to grow impatient. He tugs harder at his dick. "You know," Sylvain says, "I was really jacking off, even though you couldn't see it. I've just been sitting here with my dick hard this whole time. Which means I am fucking dying to come." His voice grows more strained with every word. His muscles are tense with frustration. "What do you say, guys? Can I take this thing off?"

He sets another timed vote going. While there are some sympathetic voters watching, a solid two-thirds vote no. Sylvain groans loudly when the winning result flashes on the screen.

"You all just want to see me squirm, don't you? Have a little pity! I'll leave it on, but I'm gonna need some help to come like this." He presses a button on the remote. The buzzing of the vibrator gets louder as it vibrates faster at the base of Sylvain's cock. He bites his lip and breathes hard while his body adjusts to the sensation. "Don't say I don't work hard to please my fans," he pants.

Sylvain's hand moves faster over his cock, but he's clumsy with desperation. He abandons technique in favor of fondling the tip. When that doesn't give him what he needs, he grabs his dick with both hands and thrusts into them so hard that his hips come off the bed.

"Fuck it." Sylvain shoves two fingers into his mouth before reaching between his legs. He presses both fingers into his ass, not stopping until they're two knuckles deep and rubbing his prostate. 

He shudders. His eyes flutter closed, and his mouth falls open. "Yes," Sylvain says, the word falling from his lips like an offering. "Yeah, that's it. That's what I needed." He rocks his hips back and forth against his fingers. Sylvain bites his lip. A whimper slips out of his mouth, followed by a series of drawn out moans as he finally comes.

His orgasm seems to go on forever. Long streaks of cum arc across Sylvain's chest. A few drops even hit his face.

Sylvain flops back onto the mattress. He fumbles blindly for the remote and turns off the vibrator. Silence pours out of the speakers, broken only by Sylvain's heavy breaths. He lies there for a few seconds before pushing himself back up.

"You guys really made me work for it," Sylvain says with a weak laugh. The ring sits slightly loose around his soft cock. He slides it off and sets it aside. "But it was a spectacular orgasm, so I won't hold it against you."

He walks gingerly over to his desk, looking rather weak in the knees. "Thanks for coming out to watch tonight. It was definitely... interesting," Sylvain says. A laugh sneaks into his voice. "I hope you torture me less the next time I let you vote, you bunch of bullies."

Sylvain yawns suddenly. "Fuck, sorry. I always get really sleepy after I come. Maybe next time I'll stream a little later and let you fall asleep with me?" He laughs again. The chat goes wild for the idea, but Sylvain doesn't say any more on the subject. He just wishes his fans a good night and turns off the camera.

As the stream goes offline, Felix becomes suddenly aware of a tightness in his pants. He looks down to find that his own dick is hard enough to show.

"What the fuck?" Felix says.

A couple days later, Sylvain walks straight through Felix's front door with a bright "Knock knock!" instead of knocking on it. "You're taking your lunch break now, right? Can I have some?"

"Get it yourself," Felix says, gesturing at the pan of stir fry on the stove. He pops one foot on the table as he eats his own plate of food. "What are you doing home at this hour? You know it's Tuesday, right?"

"I'm taking a leaf out of your book and working from home today."

Felix blinks. "You mean you're doing Gautier family business shit on your sex work computer?"

"Yep." Sylvain's eyes are alight with vindictive pleasure. "Sometimes I give presentations wearing butt plugs just to see if anyone will notice. Maybe I'll wear a vibrating one next time and ask if any of the board members want to fuck me in the bathroom afterwards."

"Your dad is either going to die or kill you if he finds out. Maybe both."

"That's the ideal outcome, isn't it?" He sighs wistfully. Felix doesn't know if he's joking or not. Before he can figure it out, Sylvain says, "But I didn't come here to talk about my dad's work, I came here to talk about mine. You watched the stream last night, right? Am I forgiven? Or is my new crime being too sexy and getting you turned on? Because I can handle that one."

Felix manages to keep his face expressionless through nothing less than the grace of God herself. "I had reports to read," he says. "I didn't have time to watch your silly sex stream."

"What! But it was so hot!" Felix silently agrees. Sylvain lets out a prolonged groan. "You suck! I know you made an account. You should have come to support me! I'm a small business owner!"

"You're the heir to an international hotel chain."

"Not by choice! I'd love to try to make it as a porn star, but if I told my dad I wanted to quit the family business to fuck for a living, I'm pretty sure a high-end hitman would find himself with a new assignment."

Felix pauses to think about that. He feels like he should disagree. That's what Dimitri or Ingrid would do. But he's not them. Felix knows Sylvain's father well enough not to want to spend any time near him, and he knows Sylvain probably isn't exaggerating. They still don't know exactly what happened to Miklan after his dad got tired of cleaning up after him.

"You should come work at Blaiddyd Corp.," Felix says. "You could put together a whole business merger that lets us absorb Gautier, Inc. I'm sure we can lean on him hard enough to force him to relinquish control of the company. It would be much more satisfying to ruin him personally than let him send some assassin after you. Plus you know Dimitri is a total pushover when it comes to us. Bet he'd give you lots of free time to do stupid sex stuff if you asked."

Sylvain lets out a fond laugh. "He would, wouldn't he? I wouldn't do that to poor Dimitri. He'd give me permission to have sex in a conference room and then be scandalized that I actually did it."

"That's why he's got me. To make sure you clean up after yourself." Felix presses his fist against Sylvain's arm in a gentle imitation of a punch. "Seriously, though, think about it. You're always talking about how much you hate Gautier, Inc. It would be good for you to leave it."

Sylvain closes his eyes and takes a long, deep breath. Felix wonders if he's imagining what it would look like to renounce his role in the family business. Felix certainly is. He imagines that Sylvain might sleep around less if he didn't feel so obligated to ruin the Gautier family's reputation. He imagines seeing Sylvain every day at the office, imagines them working on projects together. They both smile more in Felix's delusion than they do in real life.

"It's really nice that you want me to come and work with you," Sylvain says. He opens his eyes and looks at Felix with perfect clarity. "But I have to stay at Gautier. Not because of what my dad wants. There are just things I know I can do with that company that won't happen if I'm gone."

"Let us know if you change your mind. If you tell Dimitri you want to work with him, he'll take you with open arms."

"And then he'll hug me so hard my back breaks."

"Yeah, he does that to everyone at orientation. Someone should tell him that's hazing."

"Watch out!" Sylvain says, laughing. "He'll switch to kissing new hires on the lips."

"Is that what you do?"

"I don't kiss and tell," Sylvain says indignantly.

Felix speaks in a flatly judgemental voice. "You publish videos of yourself having sex on the internet. You kiss and post."

"Yeah, but it's not like I tell my fans about _every_ person I make out with."

Felix narrows his eyes. "I'm suddenly concerned about how many people you kiss."

"What, only now? Ingrid's been on my case about it ever since I kissed her grandmother on the mouth when I was eight."

"I forgot about that," Felix says, groaning. "Why did you do that, anyway? She wasn't _your_ grandmother."

"She said she wanted to have us all as grandkids! I thought I was being nice! I can't believe Ingrid's been yelling at me for it for sixteen years."

"I hate to think how long she'd hold a grudge if you really pissed her off."

"Oh, I'd be dead for sure," Sylvain says with a shrug. "But enough about that! I want you to support my thriving side career as a sex superstar as much as you support me being an office drone. I'm streaming this Friday at nine PM, and you have to come watch. Cancel your other plans. I'm gonna do a stream so sexy that you'll pay for a year's subscription just so you won't miss out."

"I can see you for free whenever I want."

"Not like this, you can't." Sylvain winks.

The image of Sylvain fingering himself during the livestream comes crashing into Felix's thoughts. The room feels very warm all of a sudden.

Felix gets the fuck out of there. He claims a forgotten meeting and locks himself in his office, leaving Sylvain alone in the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow look at that excellent art!!! follow [Sara's nsfw account](https://twitter.com/sawaT___T) to see more and retweet their art for this chapter [here](https://twitter.com/sawaT___T/status/1305396674567663616)!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix watches two of Sylvain's livestreams, including one he really likes and one he _really_ doesn't.

On Friday, Felix is peacefully pretending all of his friends work normal office jobs when Sylvain sends him two texts. _tonight!!!!! don't forget this time!!!_ followed shortly by _9PM BITXH U BETTER BE THERE!!!!!_

Felix sighs. If he misses--or pretends to miss--this one, Sylvain will probably make him sit in the room with him the next time he films. There's no way Felix can keep acting unaffected if Sylvain sees his boner with his own two eyes, so Felix begrudgingly sits at his computer at five minutes to nine.

When Sylvain appears on his screen this time, he's clothed. Felix isn't sure what to expect from that. He remembers the lingerie.

"Happy Friday, everyone!" Sylvain beams at the camera, cheerful as ever to be a beacon of sexuality. "I've been chatting with you guys in DMs, and a couple of you have mentioned how bummed you are to be single. And I get that it sucks! But I don't want you guys to be sad. So if you're ever feeling lonely, just remember that I'm right here for you. Every Friday, and whenever else you want me, I'll comfort you." He grabs his crotch and winks. "So let's spend some quality time together, shall we?"

Sylvain strips slowly for the camera, never taking his eyes off the lens until he's down to his boxers. He runs his hands along his chest, tweaking his own nipples and biting his lip. He trails his fingers along his abs and dips them just below his waistband. Then he pulls them back out, as if he has reconsidered. 

The chat box goes fucking wild. Felix isn't really reading it, but Sylvain's audience are posting enough distressed emojis that he doesn't have to. Sylvain laughs so loudly that Felix hears it through the wall before its echo comes through his speakers.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding! You know I wouldn't leave you hanging like that." Still chuckling, Sylvain tugs his dick out of his boxers. He licks his hand slowly, from the base of his palm to the tips of his fingers, before stroking himself. "You're jerking off with me, right?" he asks the camera. "I don't want to be lonely either."

More emojis from the chat. Not nearly as much text this time. Felix guesses that Sylvain's viewers' hands are occupied with things other than typing. He frowns.

Sylvain grins at the camera, showing a lot of teeth. It calls to mind the big bad wolf in those stupid stories Glenn used to try to tell them when Felix was young. "What are you thinking about?" Sylvain asks. He's hard now, his cock leaking as he strokes it. "Are you thinking about me fucking you? Or are you thinking about fucking me?" He twists his hand on the upstroke and shudders. His eyes flutter shut as he jerks himself off, now faster, now harder, now slow and gentle.

When Sylvain cracks his eyes open one at a time, there is a glint of something wild in them that makes Felix shiver too. "Personally," Sylvain says, "I'm thinking about you fucking me. I'm thinking about you putting your hard, hot cock in my ass and pounding me into the sheets." Sylvain licks his lips, and to his horror, Felix feels blood rush into his dick. _He's not talking to you, moron,_ he reminds himself. _He's just looking at a camera._

"You wanna see how well I can take it?" Sylvain asks. A flood of purple and yellow in the chat: eggplant emojis and drooling faces. Felix wonders how standard this response is, how often Sylvain baits this anonymous crowd into thinking about fucking him. "Good. Because I want to show you." 

Sylvain reaches behind him and pulls a bottle of lube and a dildo out from beneath his pillow. The dildo is one of those realistic ones with the veins and the balls, except bright blue with a suction cup on the end. Sylvain drops the dildo onto the mattress. He keeps the lube in his hand as he tugs his underwear off and tosses it aside.

He spreads his legs for the camera with the easy confidence of a person who is often naked and often seen. Felix stares, his jaw slack, as Sylvain pours lube onto his cock, letting it run down to his balls. He gives himself another couple of strokes, collecting the lube back onto his hand before reaching down to press a finger inside himself. It slides in easily enough. He puts a second finger in and thrusts. Sylvain hums with pleasure as he fingers himself. It's not long before he adds a third finger.

"Fuck," Sylvain groans. "This feels so fucking good. But your dick would feel even better." He looks right at the camera when he says it, and _fuck_ if it doesn't make Felix hard. "Since you're not here right now, I'll just have to make do with old Blue. But I'll think of you, okay?"

He winks. Felix bites his lip.

When Sylvain picks up the dildo, he brings it to his mouth. He licks the entire length of it, running his tongue from the balls to the tip. Then he pushes the head of the dildo between his lips. Sylvain lets his eyes fall closed again as he fills his mouth with it. He sucks noisily, letting saliva drip over his fingers.

Sylvain pushes the dildo further into his mouth. Felix wonders when he's going to stop. The thing is long, longer than Sylvain's head and thick enough that even Sylvain's large hand can barely wrap around its girth, but Felix has no trouble believing Sylvain could shove the entire thing down his throat. He's seen Sylvain swallow popsicles whole just to scandalize Ingrid and Dimitri. He knows Sylvain probably practiced that trick on toys like this.

But Sylvain doesn't deepthroat it. He pulls the dildo slowly out of his mouth, dragging his tongue along the underside as it goes. He finally lifts his gaze to the camera with his lips pressed against the head of the dildo. "I want you inside me," Sylvain says, his voice thick with arousal.

Felix swears and unzips his jeans. Sylvain is _good_ at this. He's good at making it feel like you're the only one on the other side of the screen, and Felix is falling for it as easily as any of Sylvain's stupid fans.

By the time Felix gets his hand around his cock, Sylvain has already squeezed lube onto the dildo. He takes a second to spread it across the surface of the thing before he lies back and lines it up with his asshole. Sylvain takes a deep breath before pushing it inside. He lets out a long moan as the dildo sinks into him, inch by silicone inch. He doesn't put the entire length in at once. He teases the entrance, thrusting shallowly at first and plunging it another inch deeper every time.

Sylvain does something with his wrist. It's a subtle change, but the new angle makes him groan with pleasure. "Fuck yes," he says, "fuck me right there. You always know how to hit the right spots. I bet if you were really here, you'd make me scream." He thrusts the dildo more vigorously, moaning every time he hits his prostate.

Felix grits his teeth. Sylvain hasn't touched his dick since he picked up the dildo, but Felix can't take his hands off his cock. He finds himself trying to match the rhythm Sylvain sets with the dildo. His hands are slick with his own precum.

"You know, I invited someone special to watch tonight," Sylvain says. Felix doesn't understand how he can sound so casual with something that big inside him. "I don't know if he actually tuned in or not, though. I asked him to watch last week, and he didn't show up!"

Sylvain pouts at the camera. Felix catches a message in the chat that reads _don't cry!!!_ Idiots. Sylvain is all crocodile tears to get what he wants. Felix won't fall for it.

"I know what you're all thinking," Sylvain says. "'How could he turn down a show like this?' But if there's anyone who could resist the temptation, it's him. The dude's got, like, an iron will about his dick."

Felix huffs. His will must be rusted through. All that's left is his hand wrapped around his cock, jerking himself off more desperately than he has in months. Years, maybe.

"Does it turn me on to think he's watching me?" Sylvain says. He's paused the movement of his hand to squint at his computer. "Sure. You know it always makes me hard knowing I've got an audience. But thinking about _him_ watching me? It makes me want to put a little extra effort in. Speaking of which, my arm's getting tired. How 'bout a change?"

Sylvain slides the dildo out of himself, making sure the camera gets a good view of his asshole gaping before he stands. He walks towards the camera. Felix doesn't even try to understand why. He just looks at Sylvain's face, pink with exertion and glistening with sweat, as Sylvain adjusts the camera so that the wall is centered in the frame. Then he strides over to the wall and slaps the dildo onto it.

He doesn't bother taking it slow this time. Sylvain takes a second to make sure it's lined up correctly, but as soon as he's got the head in, he slams his body down onto the toy. It's balls deep inside him with every thrust, and judging from Sylvain's moaning, that's exactly how he wants it. He claws at the wall as he fucks himself on the dildo. His eyes are closed again. The only sense Sylvain wants right now is touch.

A slight movement in Felix's bedroom is the first thing to make him look away from his computer since Sylvain started streaming. For a second, Felix thinks he imagined it; nothing is out of place. Then he realizes that a framed art print is starting to rattle against his wall.

The wall his apartment shares with Sylvain's.

Felix looks back and forth from the shaking frame to his monitor, his eyes widening as his brain struggles to comprehend the truth. Then Sylvain lets out a moan so loud that Felix hears it through the wall.

He's standing before he thinks about it. He hesitates for a second with his hand hovering over the dial of his speakers, debating whether to turn it up or down. Then he hears another moan through the wall, and Felix slams the volume all the way down to mute. He turns his monitor before jogging over to the wall. Felix puts his palm against the plaster, feeling it tremble with Sylvain's efforts.

Felix glances back toward his desk, watching what he can still see of the livestream from his new place at the wall. Sylvain is going to town on the dildo, and with nothing but their thin apartment wall between them, Felix can hear Sylvain's moaning and muffled swearing in real time. He keeps one hand on the wall and an eye on the livestream as he jerks himself off.

Sylvain has always been loud during sex. It's a major point of contention between them, since Sylvain fucks at all hours of the day, and sometimes Felix just wants to get some goddamn rest. But he doesn't mind the noise now that he can hear Sylvain getting off in his bedroom with perfect clarity. Go figure.

The closer Sylvain gets to orgasm, the louder he gets, and the faster Felix strokes himself. He can see on the stream that Sylvain is touching himself now too, jerking himself off furiously as he pounds his ass against the wall. He comes with a desperate cry, his mouth open and back arched. Felix comes too, splattering semen across his wall.

Felix collapses to the floor, his hand sticky with cum. Through half-lidded eyes he watches Sylvain panting against the wall, lazily pumping his cock to make sure he's gotten it all out. He takes the dildo out and flops back onto the bed, where he starts licking his hand clean. Felix grimaces, but he still gets up to turn the speakers back up. He doesn't like watching Sylvain without being able to hear him.

"Big Blue always hits the right spots. Should I make that my next giveaway prize?" Sylvain says as Felix turns the volume dial. "'Only if it's the one you use.' Sure, but then who will fuck me when you're not here?" Sylvain pouts at the camera. "I'd rather we be twinsies. I would love to do a one-on-one with someone where we race to come first using the same toy or something. Yeah, _now_ you get the appeal. I'll look into it."

Sylvain pauses, then sighs. "Well, it's about time for me to wrap up. Don't go getting all sad at me in the chat, you know I'll be back soon. Thanks for spending Friday night with me, everyone. I hope you feel a little less lonely than you did before. And if not, then check back on Monday. I'll have a nice video ready for you." He winks. "Good night, guys." Sylvain blows a kiss to the camera before turning it off.

Felix closes the tab when the offline screen replaces the video feed. It's too easy to see his reflection in the black rectangle, and he doesn't want to look at himself right now. He also doesn't want to look at the cum splatter on his wall, but he knows he has to clean it up. He wishes he felt lonely, like whoever Sylvain was DMing. Instead, Felix just feels torn between wanting to beat Sylvain up and wanting to kick his own ass for getting off to one of his best friends masturbating. He feels like shit.

Felix takes a hot shower before going to bed, but he doesn't manage to wash any of the shame off.

The next day, Sylvain knocks on his door. "So, how did you like it?" he asks instead of saying hello.

"It was passable," Felix says, looking away. But heat rises in his cheeks just hearing Sylvain's voice, and he knows he's been caught. Sylvain has that fairy tale monster smile on his face again.

"Okay," he says, the word dripping with smarm. "Well, since you were so _disappointed_ , be sure to tune in on Wednesday. That's what everybody pays to see." Sylvain winks.

"I thought they had to pay for all of it."

"They do. But jerking off is nothing compared to what I'm gonna do on Wednesday."

Felix tries to unpack that sentence, but he really has no idea what Sylvain is hinting at. He already posts graphically obscene videos of himself getting off. What else is there? He decides he doesn't really want to know, so he stops thinking about it.

He is so successful at not thinking about it that he almost forgets the existence of Sylvain's OnlyFans entirely. The unwelcome reminder comes in the form of a text from the man himself at almost eight o'clock. _show starts in 10 min_ 😉😉😉 _,_ it reads. He even includes the link to his OnlyFans again.

Felix doesn't click it. He sits at his computer and opens the page there instead. Some iron will he has. Sylvain would probably be thrilled to find out he's got enough appeal to draw Felix in like this, which means Felix can never ever let him find out he watched the stream. The humiliation would kill him.

Sylvain's red hair and slanted smile fill his computer screen.

"Hey, everyone!" he says. Just two words in and the stream is already dripping with sex appeal. How does Sylvain do that with his voice? With his _face?_ "Welcome back to another hump day special! I've really been looking forward to this, and I know I'm not the only one." He winks. "So, do you want to meet my co-star for the day?"

While the chat explodes with activity, Felix's mind goes blank. Co-star? It's not like Felix hasn't figured out that Sylvain posts videos of himself having sex, but to do it live? When Felix is in the apartment next door? When Felix is _watching?_

"Okay everyone, say hi to... Daniel!"

A conventionally attractive, almost undeniably gorgeous man walks into frame, waving. Sylvain slings his arm around Daniel's muscled shoulders. He's taller than Felix, but shorter than Sylvain. He also has nice teeth, which Felix wants to punch on impulse.

"So, you know the drill. Daniel and I are gonna chat for a bit, get comfortable, get to know each other..."

"And then give each other one hell of a workout." Daniel winks at the camera. Felix does not like it.

"Are you gonna make me break a sweat?" Sylvain asks.

"If you're good. I'll treat you right if you show me you deserve it."

Sylvain laughs. "You've got nerve! I hope your mouth isn't the only big thing about you. You're setting high expectations right now." Felix violently recalls Sylvain's massive blue dildo. At least he's consistent, Felix supposes.

The two men move to the bed, still laughing and flirting. Sylvain has always been very tactile. One of his hands drops to Daniel's waist, his fingertips slipping beneath the waistband of his jeans. Sylvain's other hand goes to the back of Daniel's neck, drawing him in for a kiss. Daniel responds in kind, sliding his hand under Sylvain's shirt as he kisses him. Felix frowns.

Sylvain looks like he's having a great time shoving his tongue down this guy's throat. It pisses Felix off for reasons he cannot comprehend. They have chemistry, and it's not _bad_ if Sylvain finds someone he gets along well with to fuck regularly. It would be better than the constant parade of new faces Felix sees coming out of Sylvain's apartment. But the idea of Sylvain having a steady boyfriend makes him want to break Sylvain's PlayStation.

Sylvain's hand moves from Daniel's waist to his groin. He rubs at his growing erection before popping the button open and tugging the zipper down. Sylvain does a little stage direction, gesturing for Daniel to stand beside the bed while Sylvain drops to his knees in front of him. After glancing at his computer to make sure everything is still in frame, Sylvain takes his cock in hand and opens his mouth.

Daniel's dick _is_ big. That doesn't mean Sylvain has a problem sucking it. He drools on it, strokes it, licks it from base to tip and kisses his way back down. Daniel's hand rests in Sylvain's hair while he sucks. He doesn't push down; he doesn't need to. Sylvain happily takes cock down his throat without even being asked.

Just like last time, Felix's arousal overwhelms his annoyance. He rubs himself through his pants, thinking about what Sylvain's mouth would feel like on _his_ cock. Thinking about what Sylvain's hair would feel like between _his_ fingers.

Sylvain spends a few long minutes with his mouth all over Daniel's dick. It's long enough for Sylvain to start tenting his brand-name sweatpants. He grinds the heel of his palm against his erection. Felix mirrors him, rubbing himself with the same small circles. When Sylvain tugs his cock free of his pants to jerk himself off, Felix follows suit. The friction feels good. He keeps his eyes on Sylvain’s hand as it moves over his shaft. Sylvain’s thumb grazes the ridge, but he doesn’t touch the head of his cock any more than that. He doesn’t press his thumb against the slit, where precum wells up and spills down onto his fingers. Felix does, though, inhaling sharply when the pressure makes his toes curl.

Daniel tugs Sylvain up by his hair. It takes a long time for Sylvain’s mouth to clear the length of Daniel’s cock. He’d been deepthroating it, Felix supposes. He hadn’t been paying attention.

Sylvain glances up at Daniel and strains his neck, trying to put his lips back around the dick. "Hold on,” Daniel says, chuckling. His cock bobs from the rumble of his laugh. Sylvain licks his parted lips and stares at it. “I can’t handle much more of this without coming. You’ve got one hell of a mouth.”

“So why don’t you let me put it to good use?” Sylvain asks. He sticks his tongue out so far that it almost reaches the head of Daniel’s cock. Daniel shifts his hips back to give himself space.

“You’ve got me so hard, I can’t wait to get inside that tight little hole of yours."

“Fine,” Sylvain says, pretending to be put out by the change of plans. “But if you come too fast, I’m putting a cockring on you and making you go again.”

“Sure, if it comes to that. But I’m gonna give you such a pounding that you’ll be the one begging for more.”

“Nope! This time, I get to be in charge. Lie down on the bed,” Sylvain commands. He swings his hand in a line to indicate a direction.

Daniel does as he’s told. He ends up flat on his back with his calves hanging over the edge of the bed, his cock standing at attention. Sylvain has a better looking dick than this guy. About the same size, but more symmetrical and better manicured. Felix wonders if that's the point. Daniel may be the one doing the fucking, but it's Sylvain's dick the camera will see the most, leaking in the open air. It's his show. Sylvain has to be the star in every way.

Daniel watches hungrily as Sylvain straddles him. "You’re gonna ride me?" he asks, grinning broadly.

"Well, I have to stay true to my brand," Sylvain says. He reaches down to grasp Daniel's cock. He guides the tip against his entrance, biting his lip when the head presses into him.

"Does that mean we're gonna sixty-nine later?" Daniel doesn't move. He's perfectly content to let Sylvain sit on his cock. Sylvain's hips go white where Daniel grips them.

Sylvain laughs. "Hate to break it to you, buddy, but I did that last time I livestreamed. You've gotta prove you can fuck me good before I let you suck my cock." The strain in his voice and the trembling of his thighs betray his mask of easy sexuality, but they don't stop Sylvain taking Daniel's cock all the way to the hilt. Sylvain’s eyes flutter shut as he bottoms out. He lets out a long, weighty breath. 

When he opens his eyes again, they are clear and bright. He lifts himself up on his thighs and drops his weight back down, his muscles rippling beneath his skin. Sylvain looks like temptation made flesh to bring humanity to sin, like divine revelation, like absolution.

That’s what Daniel sees when he looks at him, too. Felix can tell. The playfulness has left his expression. He’s enraptured by the steady bounce of Sylvain’s cock against his stomach as Sylvain rides him. 

It’s not just sex, somehow. Felix thinks of the horse books Sylvain and Ingrid read when they were kids. There is something of them in this, the freedom of a gallop and the prison of a bit and reins. Felix isn’t sure who’s supposed to be getting bridled. He doesn’t think it’s Sylvain. He thinks it’s Daniel, looking up at Sylvain’s half-open mouth like it’s a holy symbol. He thinks it’s himself, hypnotized by the push and pull of Sylvain’s hole around a cock. He's probably got the whole audience under his spell.

Daniel seems to come back to himself. He slams his hips upward to meet Sylvain’s thrust, Sylvain moans loudly enough for Felix to hear it through the wall, and Felix--

Felix turns off the stream. He sits there, looking at his desktop wallpaper, feeling... something. Angry, probably. He's still hard, but he shoves his dick back into his jeans and ignores it. He's too pissed to jerk off now. Besides, he doesn't have the creativity to conjure up a fantasy. He can't stomach the thought of touching himself while picturing Sylvain getting railed next door.

He runs a cold shower for himself instead. The water shocks him to his senses, washing away the arousal to make room for self-hatred. He shouldn't have tuned into the stream, Felix tells himself. He shouldn't have listened to Sylvain, and he definitely shouldn't have _watched_ him. Not like that. Not with someone else. Not with someone who wasn't Felix.

Wait. Wait, what?

Felix turns the water even colder. He doesn't know what the fuck Sylvain's stupid porn streams have done to him, but this is all his fault. He's gonna punch him the next time he sees Sylvain.

Except that he doesn't, because the next time he sees Sylvain, Felix is already walking down the street so he can go to work. Someone calls his name, so Felix turns around, and Sylvain is just standing in front of their apartment doors, waving at him and smiling.

"Have a good day!" Sylvain says. Felix's chest feels funny. He turns away without saying anything and wonders if putting on a jacket was the wrong choice. It was supposed to be cold today, but he feels rather warm.

Sylvain drops by unannounced that evening. The spare keys they exchanged were not an invitation to come over whenever they wanted, but Sylvain has always taken them that way. No matter how many times Felix threatens to take his key back, Sylvain never learns basic courtesy, and Felix never follows through with his threats. He rarely even puts the chain up on his door.

Sylvain swaggers into Felix's living room with a smirk on his face. "So, did you have a good time last night? Because I sure did." He winks. Felix does not smile back.

"No," he says, his voice flat.

The amused smile slides off of Sylvain’s face, replaced swiftly with a frown. "Wait, you're not fake mad, you're for real mad. What's up?"

"I'm never fake mad."

"Yes, you are. When you're fake mad, you roll your eyes a lot. When you're for real mad, you get that big wrinkle between your eyebrows." Sylvain pokes him in the face, right on Felix's apparent wrinkle, to prove his point. "What's wrong?"

Felix slaps his hand away. "Isn't it obvious?" he asks.

"No, it's not," Sylvain says. The crease between his own brows deepens.

"You--!" Felix stops, his breath coming out in a puff that would make any bull proud. "What did you go and show me that for? Who you fuck is your business. I don't need to know about it, and I _don't_ want to see it."

Sylvain doesn't look any less confused. "Do you get this angry about all the porn that you watch? It's just that big a deal. It's just jerk off material. Relax."

"You think I'm angry that you showed me porn? I'm angry that you showed me porn _of you._ " Felix gnashes his teeth together and bites back the instinct to shout. "You made a big fucking deal out of making sure I was watching and fucked some guy I've never met, and you expected what? For me to get off to it? For me to think all the shit you pull is worth it because you make porn that people want to watch?"

“Well, yeah.” Sylvain shrugs. “It’s entertainment.”

“It’s a waste of time. Another one of your stupid, useless hobbies. You could be doing something productive with your life, but you choose this. Does having all those people fawning over you make you feel special? They don’t like you, Sylvain. They just want to fuck you like everyone else.”

A silence stretches between them. Felix’s words were too harsh and he knows it, but he’s never known how to control his speech the way he can control his body. He thinks about apologizing or taking it back, but Sylvain speaks before he can.

" _You_ liked it, though. I bet you got all hot and bothered watching me stream the other day.” Sylvain’s eyes are cold, and his voice is sharp. “What's the matter, you can't handle getting turned on, so you're taking it out on me?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Felix says, but his cheeks are hot.

Sylvain laughs. It's a short, harsh sound. "Look at you! If you were any redder, you'd be a tomato. You want me to believe you didn't watch me fuck myself on a dildo? That you didn't watch me spread myself open with a thick toy and ride it until I came? That you suddenly grew a vivid imagination and you're just blushing picturing it now? You were into it. You're _still_ into it."

“You think way too highly of your sex appeal,” Felix huffs.

“The thing is, I really don't.” Sylvain has taken on this awful, sneering tone. It’s the voice he uses when he talks to girls who want to get back together with him after he’s already finished playing around with them, and it's fucking frustrating that he’s using it on Felix now. “I know what I look like, and I know how to work my body, inside and out. Especially inside. I’ve got the fanbase to prove it.”

“All that proves is that a lot of people with bad taste want to sleep with you. You’ve known that for years. We all have. How do you pick the ones you get to fuck you for the camera, anyway? I bet they’re just the guys who are most annoying about messaging you. You always give in anyway. You might as well get some money out of it.” 

Sylvain smiles at him, unfazed by Felix’s cruel words. In fact, he looks pretty smug about them. "What are you, jealous?” he asks. “You wanted to be the one to fuck me, and now you’re pissed that I let someone else put his dick in me? I’m open for business whenever you want, baby. You interested?"

“No, I’m not,” Felix says through gritted teeth. It's not convincing.

Sylvain’s laugh is a cruel mockingbird’s song. "Oh my god, you are. You wanna fuck me. After years of getting shit from all of you for sleeping around, you want to fuck me."

“I don’t want to have anything to do with your filthy bedroom habits.”

"It's just sex,” Sylvain says. "It doesn’t have to be feelings. I know how much those scare you."

Felix looks away, his face flushed with anger. Mostly with anger, at least. Sylvain keeps smiling at him.

"If you want me so bad, you can just come on the livestream with me. Find out what it's like on the other side of the camera." Sylvain steps into Felix's space, lifting Felix's chin with his hand to make Felix look at him, to make him feel their height difference. "Maybe you'll even have fun for once in your life."

Felix doesn’t back up or slap Sylvain’s hand away. That would be admitting that Sylvain is getting to him, and he’s not. Felix just sets his jaw instead. "Fine. Wednesday, eight o'clock, right?"

"Yup."

"See you then."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Retweet Sara's amazing art for this chapter [here!](https://twitter.com/sawaT___T/status/1309313830057508864) Please check [Sara's twitter](https://twitter.com/sawaT___T) and [Sylvain's carrd](https://onlyvain.carrd.co) for art updates. You can also visit me on twitter at [@bottomsylvain](https://twitter.com/bottomsylvain) and retweet this fic [here](https://twitter.com/bottomsylvain/status/1305393138089959424).


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix joins Sylvain for some on-camera sex. It's hot and rough right up until it becomes romantic, which is somehow even hotter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now with art, which can be viewed within the fic on AO3 or on [Sylvain's carrd](https://onlyvain.carrd.co). ;) Thanks to [Sara](https://twitter.com/sawaT___T) as always for illustrating!

Felix doesn't see or talk to Sylvain for the rest of the week. He works overtime and keeps the chain up on his door in case Sylvain tries his key. He needn't have worried; no one rattles his doorknob.

He knocks on Sylvain's door at exactly 7:55 on Wednesday night. It takes Sylvain a full minute to open the door, and when he sees Felix's face, he has the audacity to look surprised.

"I didn't think you'd really come," Sylvain says. “I should have known you wouldn’t back down from a challenge.”

“Isn’t that why you asked me?” Felix asks as he pushes past Sylvain into the apartment. “Because you knew I wouldn’t say no if you provoked me? You may know my game, Sylvain, but I know yours too."

"I guess there's no point in denying it, then. Here, look this over." Sylvain grabs a piece of paper off the table and hands it to him.

"What is it?" Felix asks.

"My STI test results. Clean bill of health, dated two days ago. Haven't been with anyone but myself since I gave the sample."

"Huh. I'm surprised you managed this while sleeping around that much."

"Hey! I'm not careless! Everyone who comes to do a video with me has to bring their test results, too. Just like doing real porn! I don't want to have to give a blowjob over a condom. Even the flavored ones taste way worse than plain dick."

Felix ignores all that. He hands the test results back to Sylvain and says,"I didn't take one. You sure I'm good?"

Sylvain gives him a judgmental look. "Who could you possibly have caught an STI from, Dimitri? I don't think cringe is sexually transmitted."

This comment earns Sylvain a punch in the tit. He doubles over in pain. "I take it you're still mad at me," Sylvain wheezes.

"No," Felix says tersely, "I'm not."

"Okay, whatever you say," Sylvain says through a groan. "I'll meet you in the bedroom?"

Felix steps into Sylvain's room and tosses his sweatshirt onto the perpetually spotless floor. He feels a sting of vindictive pleasure at the idea of messing up Sylvain's pristine living space. Felix and Ingrid both agree that his time would be better spent cleaning up his actions than his apartment, but he persists in making choices that have messy consequences.

Sylvain hobbles in behind him. "It's not a problem if you're angry," he says, one of his hands covering his pec. "Feel free to take it out on me if you want. I don't mind if things get rough. That said, please do not punch me on camera. An open hand is sexy. A closed fist is not. Unless it's inside someone." He winks.

More things to ignore! Felix is starting to regret coming here. He takes a moment to process the part that wasn't about fisting. "Did you just tell me to slap you?" he asks.

"Sure," Sylvain says. "It's really hot to get slapped around. Maybe get my hair pulled." He licks his lips. "I bet you know a thing or two about that."

"I do not." He doesn't. But Felix is troubled to find himself interested in learning.

"Okay. I totally believe you." Sylvain waggles his eyebrows at him. Felix resists the urge to punch him again. "Well, you can do whatever you want to me. I doubt you know enough kinks to have one I'm not okay with. Actually..." Sylvain trails off, frowning. "Oops. I was so convinced you'd bail that I forgot to discuss positions."

"I think sixty-nining is stupid," Felix says immediately.

"First of all, how dare you," Sylvain replies. He is visibly affronted. "I'm going to change your mind on that. Secondly, that's not what I meant. I usually bottom when I'm recording, but I can top if you want. I don't think the viewers will care which as long as one of us gets fucked."

"Oh. That." Felix pulls his shirt over his head and throws it onto the floor. "That's not an issue. I'll fuck you."

"Yeah?" There's an annoying mischievous look in Sylvain's eyes like he still expects Felix to back out. Felix scowls and puts a hand on Sylvain's chest to push him into the bed. Sylvain doesn't resist.

"Yeah," Felix says. "So take off your pants."

Sylvain grins toothily. The big bad wolf, hungry again. "While I _love_ this energy, I have to turn the camera on. Otherwise what's the point, right?" He slides off the bed and walks over to the computer. "Oh, and don't take anything else off yet," he says as he boots up the stream.

"Why not? We're gonna get naked anyway."

"Yeah, but I want to undress you myself." Sylvain turns around just long enough to give Felix a smirk and a wink, which is lucky. His eyes are back on the computer before he can notice Felix blushing.

"Hey, everyone! Sorry I'm late," Sylvain says. Felix can see his face in the video playback on the screen. He is wearing a typically Sylvain smile: deeply charming and a little provocative. "I promise tonight is worth the wait, though. You know that guy I play video games with that you all love? He's here, and he's shirtless." Sylvain steps back from the camera with a flourish, giving the audience a clear view of Felix.

It makes him feel a lot shyer than he thought it would. He wishes he was still wearing his shirt. Sylvain doesn't say anything, so Felix gives the camera a tiny wave. Sylvain's eyes widen, and he presses his lips together to hold back laughter. Felix blushes and glares at him, but Sylvain just turns back to the camera.

"I won't be reading the comments tonight, so don't be mad if we don't take your suggestions for what to do next. Save your ideas for Friday, okay?" Another wink. "I want to give Felix my full attention."

And he does.

Felix has been alone with Sylvain more times than anyone would bother counting, but it has never been like this before. When Sylvain turns away from the computer, he lays the full weight of his seductive energy on Felix. He seems somehow larger than before. Sylvain looks at him like Felix is something to devour. He uses shitty pick-up lines on Felix all the time, but now Felix realizes that Sylvain carries himself differently with people he's going to fuck than he does with friends. It's like the temperature of the room goes up. Felix looks away, sweat beading on his temple, as Sylvain saunters over to him.

"So, Felix," he says, his voice dark and hot. "How do you want me?" He smirks.

Something in Felix's brain clicks into place. That was a challenge. He knows what to do with a challenge. He reaches up to Sylvain's shoulder and presses down. Sylvain resists for half a second before bending his knees. He keeps his eyes locked on Felix and the corner of his mouth upturned.

He waits on his knees to see what Felix will do next. When Felix doesn't move or speak, Sylvain reaches out for the zipper of Felix's pants. Felix fists his hand in Sylvain's hair and shoves his head back. His eyes grow wet from the sting on his scalp, but Sylvain doesn't complain.

"Not yet," Felix says.

"You want me on my knees, but you don't want me to suck your dick?" Sylvain raises a teasing eyebrow at him. "What do you want, then?"

Felix extends his empty right hand. He swings his arm. His hand makes contact with Sylvain's cheek with a thundering crack. Sylvain's head whips to the side so forcefully that Felix feels a few of his hairs come loose in Felix's hand. His cheek burns red. Felix bites his lip.

" _Fuck_ yes." Sylvain turns his head slowly back to center, a devilish grin on his face. "I didn't think you'd have it in you, Felix."

"You underestimated me."

"I sure did. I can't wait to see what else you'll surprise me with." He swallows thickly. Sylvain's eyes are dark and hungry.

Felix slaps him again. He holds back this time; he knows how to aim, but he is suddenly worried Sylvain's face might bruise. He doesn't have practice controlling his palms like he does his fists. Sylvain doesn't seem to care. He eyes Felix's hand without an ounce of apprehension.

"Are you gonna do it again?" he asks.

"Maybe later. If you're good."

"Oh, but I wanna be bad. Don't you wanna see what a bad boy I am?" He puts on this unappealing childish voice, the way girls in movies sometimes talk when they're trying to be seductive. It makes Felix's lip curl.

"Not particularly."

"Fine." Sylvain sounds like himself again. Felix greatly prefers it. "Then let me show you how good I can be." He reaches again for Felix's zipper. This time, no one pushes his hands away.

Sylvain's pupils grow wide as he opens Felix's pants, unwrapping him like a present. He trembles slightly as he tugs the waistband of Felix's boxer briefs down to let his cock spring free. Is it that exciting for him? Sylvain has seen a lot of dicks, and Felix doesn't think his is anything special. When it's soft like this, Sylvain can cover the entire thing with his hand.

He chooses to cover it with his mouth instead. Felix flinches when Sylvain's warm, wet tongue touches the underside of his cock. 

Felix would never dare admit this to Sylvain, but he doesn't have a lot of experience with oral. He barely even touches himself; he's not used to having this much attention paid to his genitals. He hasn't trained to have this kind of stamina, so it takes an embarrassingly short amount of time for Felix to get hard. Sylvain is good with his tongue. He works it up and down the shaft, around the head, even along the seam between Felix's balls. He sucks at the tip and prods at the slit with his tongue. Felix feels his knees start to buckle. He grabs Sylvain's shoulder and squeezes.

"Did you like that?" Sylvain asks. He doesn't pull away to speak. He turns his eyes up to Felix's face and keeps his lips against Felix's cock, brushing the head with every syllable.

"It's not bad," Felix says. He's never been harder in his life. He's sure Sylvain can tell somehow. He probably has some sort of stupid sex compass where most people's brains keep their sense of direction. But Sylvain just laughs and gets back to working Felix's cock.

"Hey, Felix," he says between licks. "Call me a whore."

" _What?_ "

"It's what I am, right? I'm sucking your dick in front of an audience," Sylvain says, gesturing at the camera. "I let them pay to watch. That makes me a whore. So call me one."

Felix glares at the camera before he glares at Sylvain. "Is that what you get off on?" he asks.

"Maybe." There's a bit of a melody to Sylvain's response. He's still playing games. Felix grabs him by the hair and yanks his head back hard enough to pull a gasp from Sylvain's throat.

"Whore," Felix hisses. He spits the word out like it's venom, like it's a sword strike aimed at Sylvain's heart, but Sylvain just moans. His cock strains against the front of his pants.

Felix's lip curls into a snarl. "If you want it so badly," he says, "you shouldn't have any problem making me come like this."

Sylvain licks his lips. "Give it to me good, baby," he says.

"I'm not your baby." Felix drags Sylvain forward so suddenly that he has to catch himself on Felix's thighs to keep himself from toppling over. He recovers quickly, taking the entire length of Felix's cock into his mouth.

Felix lets out a shuddering breath. The head of his cock goes past the base of Sylvain's tongue and down into his tight, hot throat. Felix pulls his hips back and thrusts forward instinctively. Despite how sudden the movement is, Sylvain doesn't choke. He hardly seems to care. He leaves his throat open, his body pliant, his gaze free of judgment. He lets Felix use him.

Guilt runs a cold finger down Felix's spine. His hips stutter to a standstill. His hands stay fisted in Sylvain's hair, and his cock stays buried in Sylvain's mouth, but he doesn't move. Sylvain gives him a tiny shrug before he starts bobbing his head up and down. His tongue sweeps across the underside of Felix's cock.

Sylvain lets his own hands wander as he sucks Felix off. They stroke his thighs through his jeans before trailing up and around to grip Felix's ass. Felix wishes suddenly that he had taken off his pants, or that Sylvain had taken them off for him. He wants Sylvain's hands on his bare skin.

He makes do with Sylvain's mouth on his bare cock, which is in no way a letdown. Sylvain sucks hard on the tip of his cock before peppering kisses down the shaft. He takes Felix's balls gently between his lips and swirls his tongue around them. He looks up at Felix with a curiously deep expression in his eyes before taking his cock impossibly far down his throat and swallowing around it.

"Quit showing off," Felix grunts.

Sylvain swallows twice more before pulling off to respond. "Why? Does it make you want to fuck my face again? You should give in to the impulse. It's hot."

"Because—" Felix pauses. He doesn't have another reason, but he doesn't want Sylvain to think he's right. The trembling of Felix's hips is revealing enough.

Sylvain doesn't wait for him to come up with another answer. He wraps his hand around the base of Felix's cock and strokes him. His hands are hot, almost as hot as his mouth but so much larger. The rough surface of his palm contrasts against Sylvain's smooth tongue where it circles the ridge of Felix's cockhead.

His lips are soft. Felix shivers as they slide down his cock to chase Sylvain's descending hand. The pressure of Sylvain's mouth around the head is overwhelming. Felix trembles, his nails digging into Sylvain's scalp. Sylvain lets his eyes fall shut.

"Look at me," Felix says. He immediately regrets it when Sylvain opens his eyes and casts them up toward Felix's face. His cheeks are flushed. Saliva trickles down his chin. His pink lips are stretched tight around Felix's shaft. Sylvain looks like he fucking loves it, like he's been waiting his whole life to do this, like Sylvain was fated to be on his knees with Felix's cock in his mouth.

Heat curls in Felix's belly. Every lick and suck feeds the flame. He's going to burn up like this, spontaneous sexual combustion centered on his dick.

"Get off, Sylvain. I’m close." Felix grits his teeth between every word. Instead of pulling back, Sylvain sucks harder. Felix pushes at his head. "Will you listen to me?" Felix hisses. "Get off my dick, I'm gonna come."

He can tell his cock is dripping with precum. Sylvain laps it up, his tongue swiping across the sensitive slit at the tip. Felix gasps and shoves Sylvain hard, forcing him off his cock a second before he comes. Semen splatters across Sylvain's face. He strokes Felix's cock as Felix shudders above him, eyes closed, biting his lip to keep from moaning.

"Damn. I wanted to taste you," Sylvain says. Felix opens his eyes in time to see Sylvain lick a drop of cum off his lips. Felix flushes a deep crimson and turns his head away. Sylvain laughs.

"Come on, Felix, don't go getting all shy on me now. I want to have more fun." He slides his hands into Felix's underwear to squeeze his ass. Felix shivers at his touch. Sylvain drops his wrists, pushing Felix's pants and underwear down past his hips. Sylvain slides his hands down, stroking the backs of Felix's thighs and taking his pants with him.

Felix lets Sylvain push his jeans down over his knees before shaking him off. He grabs at Sylvain's shirt and pulls it off inelegantly. He's got no practice stripping other people. A little smirk sits on Sylvain's face like he's thinking the same thing, so Felix scrubs at his face with his shirt.

"I don't want to fuck you when your face is covered in cum," he says.

"Don't blame me for that!" Sylvain protests. He tries and fails to escape the shirt in his face. "I was trying to swallow!"

When Felix drops the shirt, Sylvain's face is clear of both semen and smirk. His hair is also all messed up, which is much sexier than Felix was really anticipating. He throws Sylvain bodily onto the bed and busies himself with yanking Sylvain's pants off so he doesn't have to look at his face.

"Holy shit. You move fast," Sylvain says, laughing. "Did you want me naked that badly?" Felix doesn't answer him. He drops his jeans on the floor beside Sylvain's before getting on the bed with him. 

Sylvain sits with one leg propped up on the mattress and the other dangling off the side of the bed so the camera can see how hard his cock is. He tosses a bottle of lube, which Felix catches easily. He hopes that disguises how distracting he finds Sylvain's erection to be. It dips and bobs as Sylvain shifts around on the bed, glancing at the computer to make sure he's giving his audience the view they pay for.

The click of the lube opening draws Sylvain's attention back to Felix. Felix tries to ignore the weight of his gaze. He focuses instead on the feel of the lube on his fingers, the viscosity and the temperature. He works it between his fingers. He hasn't used this brand, but it feels good. Only the best for Sylvain's sex life, he supposes. It even smells nice.

"You do know how to do this, right?" Sylvain asks. He doesn't look particularly concerned, which means the question is a dig at Felix's limited experience.

Felix scowls. He drags his knuckle around Sylvain's exposed hole, keeping his touch light, and waits until Sylvain opens his mouth to talk before sliding his finger in. The words fly out of Sylvain's head, leaving him to gasp and moan as Felix adds a second finger. He's not as tight as Felix expects. He probably prepared himself before Felix came over.

Something about the idea of Sylvain fingering himself for other people makes Felix feel mean. He doesn't wait for Sylvain to adjust before hooking his fingers and thrusting.

Sylvain writhes under him, his toes curling every time Felix brushes against his prostate. Felix isn't even sure he notices when he adds a third finger. He's too busy moaning and clutching at the sheets.

"Holy fuck," Sylvain pants. "You've had sex like twice, how are your fingers so good? Jesus _Christ._ "

"If you keep giving me shit, I'm going to make you come just with my fingers. Won't that be embarrassing?"

"I mean, it could be pretty sexy," Sylvain says. "But then that hard-on you've got growing there would go to waste, and—" He breaks off to whimper as Felix strokes his prostate. "We wouldn't want that, would we?" He gives Felix a shaky smile that devolves into swearing when Felix moves his fingers again.

"You want my dick that badly, do you?" Felix asks. Sylvain nods and licks his lips.

"Yeah. Yeah, I want you to fill me up."

Felix draws in close, his fingers stretching Sylvain's hole wide. He keeps his voice low and commanding. "Then get on your knees," Felix says. He withdraws his fingers and waits.

Sylvain scrambles to turn over. He gets on all fours and presents himself. He even reaches back to spread his cheeks and give Felix clear access to his hole. Felix slides all three fingers back inside. He can put more pressure on Sylvain's prostate at this angle. With every touch, Sylvain whines high in his throat. Felix's mouth goes dry. 

"Felix, come _on,_ " Sylvain says. He pushes his hips back, trying to pull Felix's fingers deeper inside him. "Enough with the fingers already. I want to feel your dick inside me."

Sylvain asking to be fucked gets Felix harder than a firm hand around his cock would. He slides his left hand up Sylvain's back, tracing the line of his spine. Sylvain shudders. He glances back at Felix, his pupils blown out with desire. Felix pays him no mind. He lets his hand feel every vertebra. He doesn't stop until his palm covers the back of Sylvain's neck.

He pushes down. Sylvain's arms fold beneath him as he drops, his cheek pressed into the pillow. His ass clenches around Felix's fingers.

Sylvain keeps looking back at him. He watches Felix pull his fingers out of his hole and lean back to pour lube onto his dick. Sylvain shifts his hips a little higher, spreads his legs a little wider.

Well. There's no sense in keeping him waiting, right?

Felix lines himself up behind Sylvain's hips, rubbing the head of his cock between Sylvain's ass cheeks. Sylvain's eyes flutter shut. "Please, Felix," he whispers so quietly that Felix almost misses it. Almost.

He slides in easily. The most obscene noise Felix has ever heard leaves Sylvain's mouth. Sylvain rocks his hips back until Felix's cock is as far inside him as it can be.

"I've been waiting a long time for this," Sylvain says.

"You're so impatient," Felix replies. The words come out choked. He hasn't been with anyone carnally in two years. He's forgotten what it's like to be inside someone, to feel the warm pressure of another person's body around his cock. He pulls out until only the head of his cock is still inside Sylvain, and then he eases his way back in. Sylvain moans louder with every inch.

"I knew you'd feel good," he says. Sylvain's voice is muffled this time. He presses his face more deeply into the pillow.

"You're the one with the tight hole." Another slow thrust. Felix is afraid that if he goes any faster, he'll come. Sylvain would never let him live that down, and Felix doesn't want it to be over so quickly.

A playful smile pulls at Sylvain's lips. He clenches his ass. Felix groans and grabs at Sylvain's waist, digging his fingers into his sides. "I can be even tighter," Sylvain says.

Felix grits his teeth. "Don't be."

Sylvain's laugh is melodic in a way that is both charming and deeply annoying. Felix retaliates by slamming his hips into Sylvain's. The laugh turns into a strangled moan.

"Fuck, Felix, I thought you were still getting used to it," Sylvain complains.

"I adapted." Or at least, Felix doesn't think he's going to come at the drop of a hat anymore. "What's the matter, you can't take it?"

"I can take whatever you give me, stud."

He takes Sylvain at his word. Felix pushes into him, his pace slow but steadily increasing. It's good, if Sylvain's moaning is to be believed. He moves in time with Felix, meeting his thrusts with a loud slap of flesh on flesh.

Sylvain's hand comes up to his own chest. Felix can't see what he's doing from this angle, but he knows enough to picture Sylvain's fingers grasping at his nipple, pinching and pulling as Felix fucks him. He said he likes it rough. Does he need it rougher?

Felix grabs a handful of Sylvain's ass. He expects it to be firm; while he's not a gym rat like Felix, Sylvain's looks aren't purely genetic. But there is a pleasant layer of fat over the muscle that gives it a nice squish. Felix squeezes, enjoying the way Sylvain's flesh goes white beneath his grasp.

"Wanna give it a slap?" Sylvain wiggles his hips. His ass jiggles, just a bit. Felix raises his hand.

His palm makes a satisfying smack against Sylvain's ass. Sylvain jumps, his hand leaving his chest to grip the sheets. "You're full of surprises tonight," he says, looking back at Felix. "I thought I'd have to push you harder to get you to hit me."

Felix lifts an eyebrow. "Why did you think that? We've been fighting each other for fifteen years." He slaps Sylvain's ass again. It turns a pleasant shade of pink. Felix caresses the reddening skin before pulling his hand back for another strike. Sylvain flinches, but he doesn't jerk away this time.

"Yeah, but that was sparring and roughhousing. This is sex. I didn't think you were good with sex."

He gives a little shrug. Felix frowns. He spanks him again, feeling Sylvain clench around him and push back for more. Felix massages Sylvain's ass, his fingers digging into the muscles before he lets his hands wander. His left drifts along the smooth skin of Sylvain's back, coming to rest at his waist. He wraps his right hand around Sylvain's cock.

It's slicker than he expected. This is the first time anyone's touched his cock all night, but Sylvain is leaking precum all over Felix's hand. Felix grips him firmly and strokes, matching the rhythm of his thrusts. He's moving faster now, his hips snapping briskly back and forth.

Sylvain melts into the sheets, a drawn out " _oh_ " falling from his lips. Felix leans over him. He's close enough to study the beads of sweat on Sylvain's back. "Still think I'm bad at sex?" he asks, letting his thumb skate across the ridge of Sylvain's cockhead.

He doesn't even answer. He thrusts into Felix's hand, his breathing growing uneven. Felix squeezes. Sylvain whimpers, his hands clawing at the bedsheets.

"Fuck, Felix, harder, I'm gonna come, I want to come, I—" His words give way to moans.

"Answer me, Sylvain. Do you still think I'm bad at sex?"

"You're good, you're so good, Felix, fuck, please I want to come." He trembles beneath him. 

Felix jerks him off faster, his palm brushing the head of Sylvain's cock with every stroke. With his other hand, he reaches for Sylvain's hair and pulls, wrenching his neck back. "Come then," Felix says. "Whore."

Sylvain comes with a cry. Felix keeps stroking him until Sylvain is spent. His cum splatters into the sheets.

He goes limp. Felix's dick slides out of his ass as Sylvain collapses onto the mattress, directly on the wet spot. Felix hovers over him, not knowing if he should touch him or not. The air is cold on his exposed erection. Felix hadn't been too far from coming himself.

"Can you keep going?" he asks. He allows concern to blanket his words while carefully keeping any selfish hope away. Felix can deal with a hard-on himself if he has to.

Sylvain just says, "Sure." He sounds fucked out and hoarse, but not sarcastic. "You can go at it now if you want. It'll take me a few minutes to get my dick back up, but I'm down for another round. Especially if it's as good as the first."

Some of his ridiculous sexual hunger must have been satiated, because when he smiles at Felix, his expression is soft. His eyes are dreamy and terribly warm. It does something strange to Felix's chest. He grabs Sylvain by the shoulder and flips him over, ignoring the mess on his stomach. Sylvain spreads his legs, inviting Felix to lie between them.

"What, you like missionary?" he says. "You're always fighting, so I thought you'd stick with something rougher."

"Shut up." Felix's cock rubs against Sylvain's thigh as he crawls up the bed.

"Or what? Are you gonna spank me some m—"

Felix seals Sylvain's lips with his own. Sylvain makes a surprised noise. It is at that moment, with his tongue in Sylvain's mouth, that Felix realizes they have never kissed before. He missed his chance for making out when he pushed Sylvain straight into the blowjob.

That turns out to be a tragic waste of Sylvain's capabilities. He was great at sucking cock, but he's somehow even better at kissing. Felix is so preoccupied with trying to match Sylvain's pace that he forgets how to breathe. The movement of Sylvain's tongue is overwhelming. Felix doesn't even care that the cum smeared on Sylvain's stomach is getting on him, too.

Sylvain's hand comes up to play with Felix's loosening ponytail. He runs his fingers through as much of it as he can before he reaches the hair tie. Stray hairs dangle past Felix's face and tickle both of their cheeks. Sylvain puts his hand back on Felix's scalp to give his hair a light tug, and Christ, he was right about that. It makes Felix's cock throb. He wishes Sylvain pulled harder. Then again, maybe it's better that he didn't; it probably would have made Felix come.

Kissing this deeply for this long makes Felix lightheaded, but he doesn't stop. He refuses to miss an instant of Sylvain's tongue dancing with his. It feels natural to be lying on Sylvain's chest with their lips and tongues entwined.

When his need for air is too much to ignore, Felix pulls away reluctantly. Sylvain lies glassy-eyed beneath him. His expression softens into an easy smile. "You're a good kisser," he says. The hand in Felix's hair moves down to caress his cheek. His dick presses up against Felix's stomach.

"Good enough to get you hard?" Felix asks.

"Yeah, that good." Sylvain reaches down to spread his hole with both hands. "I want you here again."

"Always so eager to get fucked." Felix says it as if his dick isn't throbbing at the thought of being back in Sylvain's tight grip. They both moan when Felix slides inside.

"I'm only like this for you," Sylvain says.

It's just lip service. They're on a _livestream_. Sylvain is a performer, and he does this for his audience's satisfaction as much as his own. But it's lip service that works. Felix's cock grows harder. He didn't even know it could get harder than this.

He leans in for some lip service of his own. Felix drops down to put his mouth over Sylvain's nipple, trusting his hips to keep moving on their own. He circles the nipple with his tongue and caresses Sylvain's other pec with his fingers.

Felix thought it was stupid and annoying a year ago when Sylvain called him over to literally hold his hand when he waxed his chest for the first time. When he pulled the first strip off, Sylvain screamed and squeezed Felix's hand so hard he thought it would break. It was funny to see Sylvain acting like a huge baby, but Felix didn't see how it was supposed to make him more attractive.

He gets it now, though. Sylvain's skin is so smooth under his fingers, his lips, his tongue. It makes him want to lick him all over, to suck bruises into every inch of skin he can reach, to sink his teeth into Sylvain's flesh.

Felix has never been any good at giving hickies. He's always preferred biting instead. But Sylvain has so much freckled skin to practice on, and his neck is so inviting. Felix sucks on his skin and hopes that enthusiasm makes up for the lack of skill.

Sylvain squirms and pants every time Felix's lips hit his throat. "Haha. Wow," he says, laughing awkwardly. "This is really different from when we were doing it doggy style."

"Different how?" Felix grazes Sylvain's nipple with his teeth before licking it with the flat of his tongue. Sylvain flinches. He gets so tight around Felix's cock.

It takes him a second to find the right word. "You're so attentive now," he says. "You're good in missionary."

"I was good enough to make you come before," Felix says.

"Yeah. I bet you'll make me come even harder like this."

Sylvain winks at him. Felix bites the skin around his nipple hard enough to leave impressions of his teeth on Sylvain's pec.

"Oh, fuck," Sylvain whimpers.

"Don't get me riled up," Felix says. He licks the bite mark soothingly. "You don't want me to come too fast."

"You're right. I want to do this forever." Sylvain leans up to catch Felix's lips again. He hooks his legs together around Felix's waist to keep their bodies pressed close. Felix thrusts deeply but slowly, an easy pace that lets him kiss Sylvain wherever he wants: his throat, his chest, the inside of Sylvain's wrist with its racing pulse, his mouth with its warm, soft tongue.

"Is this boring for them?" Felix asks, gesturing at the computer with his head.

"Fuck them."

"I'd rather keep fucking you."

Sylvain laughs. "It's fine. They like what I like, and I like this."

"Good." Felix kisses him again, his hand in Sylvain's hair without knowing when it got there. "I like this too."

The kissing is incredible, but the ache in Felix's dick is a constant reminder of how good it would feel to come inside Sylvain's slick, tight hole. He's not the only one eager for more. Sylvain wraps his hand around his dick and strokes himself, his pace quick and rough. Felix snaps his hips forward, trying to match him.

"I'm gonna come soon," he admits.

"Good," Sylvain pants. "Me too. Here, give me your hands." He grabs Felix's wrists and drags them up to his neck. He presses down on Felix's hands. "Choke me when I come," Sylvain says. Felix can feel Sylvain's pulse racing against his palms. The wolfish grin is back on Sylvain's face.

But Felix doesn't want to fuck the wolf. He slides his hands up Sylvain's neck, runs his thumbs over Sylvain's jawline, caresses Sylvain's face. Leans in to kiss Sylvain on the mouth.

Sylvain's eyes go wide for a second. Then he kisses Felix back. His eyes close. The hand that's not stroking his own cock comes up to grip Felix's shoulder. The light press of nails against Felix's skin is good, but it's not exhilarating until Sylvain digs into Felix's back. He scrapes hot lines into his shoulder and moans.

"Keep going," Sylvain pants. "Come inside me. I want to feel your cum— Fill me up— Yes, oh god yes, there right there _yes_ —" He sinks his teeth into Felix's bottom lip and comes.

Felix thrusts into him roughly, his breath jagged as orgasm tears through him. Sylvain's ass spasms around his cock, wringing cum out of him in hot spurts. Felix rocks into him slowly as the last of it leaves his cock. He's enchanted by the feel of it between his flesh and Sylvain's. It's thicker and stickier than the lube.

Sylvain whimpers into his mouth and nibbles at Felix's lower lip. It rips Felix from his reverie. He pulls out slowly, mindful that he should be courteous after fucking Sylvain so hard and for so long, but not so mindful that he doesn't stare down at Sylvain's hole. He thinks about sliding his fingers back in, about stretching him wide to see what a mess Felix has made inside him.

Cum drips out of Sylvain's hole to slide down his ass. Felix watches it go, hypnotized by the movement until he hears Sylvain snicker at him.

"Want to eat it?" Sylvain asks. He runs a fingertip over his hole, pulling gently at the skin to help the cum on its way out.

Felix recoils, his face burning. The image of himself eating his own semen out of Sylvain's ass pops into his mind against his will. He's not as disinterested as he wants to be. Sylvain laughs at him.

"I was kidding. I don't think I could take the stimulation right now, anyway. Sit tight for a second. I'm going to sign off the stream."

With a surprising amount of energy for someone so recently fucked, Sylvain hops off the bed and sits in front of his computer.

"Did you all have a good time tonight?" Sylvain pauses to read the chat. He laughs. It's a deep rumble, the kind of laugh that comes from Sylvain's belly and grips at Felix's heart. "You're welcome! I'm glad you enjoyed it. That was even better for me than I thought it would be. Felix, you wanna thank the viewers? Or just say hi?"

He turns to Felix with this stupid soft expression on his face. Felix glares at the computer to try and keep the color out of his cheeks. He gives the camera another little wave.

He blushes anyway. Curse his overactive blood vessels. Sylvain stifles a chuckle. Poorly.

"I think that's all you're getting out of him tonight. Not as good as what _I_ got out of him, but it's not bad. Thanks for watching. I always appreciate your support. I'm gonna end the stream now, but feel free to leave extra tips. I'll split them with Felix once the totals come in. See you next hump day! Good night."

With one final wink and a few clicks of the mouse, Sylvain's stream comes to an end. He guides his desk chair over to the bed with his feet and jumps off of it to land next to Felix. The chair rolls back to the desk as the mattress bounces under his weight. Sylvain sinks into it, the on-camera energy seeping out of him. It was the same lip service as always, Felix realizes. It must be tiring.

"You don't need to give me money for this," Felix says.

Sylvain props his head up on one hand. "It's fine. I always split the tips with my stream partners. You do half the work. It's only fair you get half the profits."

"I don't want the money." It comes out harsh. Felix isn't even angry. He busies himself with the chore of putting his pants back on so he doesn't have to deal with the awkwardness.

"Okay," Sylvain says slowly. Patiently. "Do you want to stay the night?"

Felix frowns. "It will take two minutes for me to walk to my own bedroom where I can sleep in my own bed."

"Yeah, but... I'm here." Sylvain smiles. It's a hesitant, bashful turn of the lips.

"Is this what you do when you finish streaming?" Felix asks. "You ask them to sleep over, and what, get ready for an encore in the morning?"

Sylvain's eyebrows collide in confusion. "I've never asked anyone to stay over before."

Felix snorts. "Please. I've seen the parade of women and men that come out of your apartment to do the walk of shame."

"I'm not lying. I don't kick them out if they ask to stay, but this is the first time I've ever offered."

"You don't need to treat me differently from them just because we're friends," Felix says. He throws his shirt back over his head. He doesn't bother with his shoes or sweatshirt. He can just carry them home.

"But you are different," Sylvain says.

"Am I?" Felix pauses just for a moment to look at Sylvain's face. He doesn't look long enough to identify the expression. "I'll see you around, Sylvain."

When Felix gets back into his apartment, he finds that his hands shake too much to maintain their grip on his shoes. He lets them drop and follows suit, sliding down the back of the door. He rubs his face with his trembling hands.

He's pretty sure that having the best two orgasms of his life should have calmed him down. People always talk about falling asleep as soon as they come. Or maybe "people" don't say that, maybe it's just Sylvain. Felix doesn't fucking know anymore. All he knows is that his heart won't stop racing.

Maybe he's sick. He'll think about it in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for your kind words on this fic! I'm glad you've been enjoying it. The final chapter will be coming in two weeks, on Oct. 8!
> 
> Feel free to retweet [the fic](https://twitter.com/bottomsylvain/status/1305393138089959424) or [this chapter](https://twitter.com/bottomsylvain/status/1309314941933899776) :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix and Sylvain try to talk things out. It goes very poorly, it gets even worse, and then somehow it goes really, really well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Sylvain's carrd](https://onlyvain.carrd.co/) has now been updated with all of the art for the fic, including illustrations for both chapters 3 and 4. Thanks as always to [Sara](https://twitter.com/sawaT___T) for their wonderful work on this project! I hope you all enjoy the finale of the messy disaster Sylvain and Felix have turned their relationship into.

He does not think about it in the morning. He doesn't think about it for a whole week. Work gets busy, so Felix has deadlines to worry about and projects to manage. Moreover, he doesn't _want_ to think about it. He has a horrible suspicion that the unending tightness in his chest has something to do with his "emotions," and that means they're going in the box in his head where all the troublesome shit goes.

He always feels better with a knife in his hand, so Felix starts chopping a truly absurd amount of vegetables for a similarly ridiculous pot of curry. He'll take it to work the next day or something. Maybe he'll just invite Ingrid over. She can probably eat half the pot by herself.

The rhythmic thudding of the blade against the cutting board is comforting. He sinks into the sound, prepping ingredients for stir fry later in the week so he doesn't have to stop chopping just because the curry pot is full. His reverie is interrupted by a knock on his front door.

Sylvain stands there with his hands in his pockets, looking sheepish. "Hey. Can I come in?"

"What's the matter, you didn't feel like takeout tonight?" Felix asks, stepping aside so Sylvain can enter the room. "I've got dinner on the stove if you want it."

"Oh! Thanks, but I can just get pizza later."

"How many times have you had pizza this week?"

"Uh." Sylvain does not meet his eyes. "I plead the fifth?"

"Sit down," Felix says. "Grab a plate. You're gonna die of scurvy, and then I'm going to have to give a eulogy about how stupid it is to die of scurvy when you're rich."

"Aw, you're gonna speak at my funeral? You _do_ care." Sylvain steps into the kitchen and blinks when he sees the state of the countertops. "Wait, is this just a trick to get me to help you eat all of this?"

"I'm doing _you_ a favor. I don't need your help getting rid of food."

"Are you sure? You made enough curry to feed a battalion." He sticks his head over the pot and takes a luxurious sniff. "God, it smells amazing though. Is it beef?"

"Chicken." Felix bops him on the arm to get him to move so Felix can actually reach the pot. "Go sit down."

Sylvain doesn't walk away. He taps his finger on the counter and looks down at his feet. "I actually wanted to talk about what happened between us the other day." His voice lacks its usual blustering confidence.

Felix freezes. He forces himself to calmly ladle curry onto their plates. "What day?"

Sylvain snorts. "Please. Like you sleep with your best friends so often that you forgot about it."

"Oh, you mean that." Felix shoves a plate into Sylvain's chest, forcing him back a step. Sylvain sets the plate down on the counter.

"Yes, I obviously mean the mind-blowing sex we had on camera for my OnlyFans. We made an absolute killing in tips, by the way. Your share is like a thousand dollars."

"Okay. What about it?" Felix takes a bite of curry just to have something to do. He blames the spice for the tightness in his chest. 

Sylvain swirls his spoon through the meal. His hand shakes. So does his voice."Do you maybe have feelings for me?" he asks hesitantly.

Felix drops his own spoon with a second bite halfway to his mouth. It splatters across the floor. "What the fuck?"

"I know, I know, you've never had a 'feeling' in your life, but hear me out," Sylvain says. "We spend a lot of time together. We've been friends for a decade and a half, and no matter how many fights we have, we always come back together. We've never drifted apart. We moved in next door to each other. Do childhood friends normally do that? Maybe we're supposed to, I don't know, be more than just each other's best friends."

There's a depth to the things Sylvain is saying, a weight that cannot be denied. Felix can't bear to look at him. Gravity has doubled on him, dragging his gaze down to the floor.

"You were so obviously jealous when I fucked another guy. And when we had sex, I—Jesus Christ, I don't even know where to start. I've slept with a lot of people, but I've never had sex that felt like that before. It wasn't just hot, it was _passionate._ It was _romantic._ I didn't know it could feel— It's never been like that before, Felix. Didn't you feel it too?"

Sylvain's eyes dance with a light Felix hasn't seen in them for years. It makes Felix's chest feel tight and uncomfortable. He clenches his hand into a fist, trying to squash the sensation.

It doesn't work.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he says. "It's like you said when you asked me to come on your stupid stream. It was just sex. It was just for fun."

"You've never tried to have fun in your life. You can't tell me you didn't feel the—the sparks when we kissed. Didn't it make your heart race?" 

Sylvain's eyes are glittering. Felix looks away.

"I have _never_ had a kiss like that before, Felix. And you got so nice afterward. It made me think that maybe I don't want to have kinky sex with a lot of hot people, like maybe I just want one hot person to, to stroke my hair and hold my hand and make me feel—"

He pauses to take one long, shuddering breath. "I think we really have something, Felix."

Felix swallows. The box in his mind is splitting its seams because Sylvain has crawled into it, and Sylvain is too big for that tiny space in Felix's head. He's spilling out into the rest of Felix's brain and riding his synapses down to his chest to take residence in Felix's heart.

In his heart? That has "feelings" written all over it, and he can't fucking have that. He just can't. Felix shoves the box away and says the first thing his panicked brain can come up with. 

"I don't know what you think you felt, but it wasn't there. It was just a hookup." The words don't feel true. Felix keeps saying them. "You're the one who's always complaining about people thinking they fell in love just because they got a good lay."

Sylvain's eyes widen, and his face cascades like a fucking avalanche. Felix's stomach goes with it. "Okay," Sylvain says. He sets his spoon down, his food uneaten. "Sorry. Thanks for dinner, but I should go."

"Sylvain." Fuck, he wasn't trying to make Sylvain _sad,_ he just wanted him to drop it. "It's fine. Stay and eat."

"No, it's okay, I'll eat later. I just. I don't have much of an appetite after all."

"Take it with you, then," Felix says. He shoves the plate into Sylvain's hands. "You're next door. You can bring the plate back whenever. You don't even have to wash it."

Sylvain chuckles, but his expression is still heavy. It makes Felix's stomach twist into fancy knots. "Thanks," Sylvain says. "I'll see you later."

Felix doesn't stop him, and Sylvain doesn't look back when he leaves.

The next day is absolutely abysmal. Felix doesn't sleep, he barely eats, and he fucks up all day at work because he can't stop thinking about Sylvain. About what Sylvain said. About what Sylvain meant.

It almost would have scared Felix less if Sylvain had just confessed openly. He's heard Sylvain say "I love you" before. He used to say it to every girl he dated for longer than a week. It never stopped him from cheating on them or making shitty comments so they'd dump him before they made it to a month together.

But sidestepping the matter and talking around the word to give himself an escape route? That's much more serious. It's what Sylvain does with the issues he's too afraid to touch. For years Sylvain would answer "hey, what's Miklan up to these days?" with a casual "beats me" until his friends finally realized Miklan was actually beating the shit out of him. He wouldn't even admit it until they caught him hiding the marks.

The look of horror and shame on Sylvain's face when he shoved his bruised arms under a blanket was haunting. It made Felix feel like a terrible friend. He should have figured it out faster, should have stopped it, should have made sure his best friend never looked that hurt again.

And then Felix went and hurt Sylvain himself. Some best friend he is.

Wallowing doesn't make him feel any better, so Felix gets off his couch and does something about it because he is a grown-up who can apologize to his friend. And talk about their feelings.

Even though Felix still really, _really_ doesn't want to talk about those.

The walk to Sylvain's door feels long. Each step Felix takes is heavy with apprehension. He's never felt this way about visiting Sylvain before. Then again, Sylvain has never suggested that they have romantic feelings for each other before. That changes things. That changes everything.

Felix takes a slow, steadying breath and pushes the door open.

Except that it doesn't open.

Felix swears. Of all the times to finally lock his goddamn door. Sylvain is always blase about security, insisting that if he gets robbed he's happy to waste his father's money replacing his belongings. But now, when Felix is desperate to talk to him, the asshole locks his door. Felix fishes the spare key out of his pocket. Surely this counts as an emergency.

The click of the lock is loud in the hall, which is silent except for the thudding of Felix's heart against his ribcage. Another deep breath, and he crosses the threshold.

"Sylvain, we have to talk. Where are you?" Felix asks. He doesn't bother saying hello or waiting for Sylvain to reply. He expects Sylvain to be taking out his temper on some video game zombies or swiping through dating apps. When Felix doesn't find him on the couch, he heads into the bedroom, still calling his name.

He finds Sylvain, but he doesn't find him lying alone in his bed with his phone in his hands. Instead, Sylvain is on his knees with red rope binding his wrists to his ankles and another man grasping Sylvain's waist as he fucks him. More rope wraps around his neck, across his chest, and down below his waist. Felix can see the cords biting into the curve of Sylvain's ass even with the other man's body in the way.

There's a black cloth tied over Sylvain's eyes, but he isn't gagged. "Felix?" he asks. He rubs his face against the pillow to move the blindfold out of place. The eye he uncovers looks over at Felix in confusion. "What are you doing here? If you wanted to do some NTR play, we probably should have talked about it _before_ I had the cock in my ass."

Felix doesn't answer. He can't remember what he was going to say. He can't stop looking at the other man's hips pressed flush against Sylvain's. That's where Felix was just a few days ago. That's where Felix should be now. He grits his teeth. His nails dig into his palms.

Sylvain sighs. "Look, John, I'm sorry, but you're gonna have to untie me. I've got business with this guy."

"This is kind of weird for NTR. It looks like I'm the one getting cucked," John says amiably. His friendly tone does not make Felix feel any better about him being here. John pulls out and starts loosening knots, removing the ropes as soon as he can lift them over Sylvain's limbs. He collects his belongings with perfect calm, completely ignoring the way Felix vibrates with anger in the doorway. "Good to see you again, Sylvain," he says with a little wave. And then he's gone.

"You've met him before?" Felix asks. He's not sure why. He doesn't want to know the answer.

"Sure. John's a friend. I'm sure you can guess what the benefits are." Sylvain waggles his eyebrow at him, but the guise of levity slips off his shoulders. He sighs, sounding suddenly tired. "This better be good. John has a great dick, and he's even better at using it than he is at tying knots." He fishes around in a drawer for a pair of boxers and tugs them over his hips. Once he's covered up, he looks over Felix's shoulder instead of meeting his gaze. It's too much of a change from the way he usually stares, usually gets too close to Felix's face and doesn't leave him alone. It makes Felix's skin itch.

"What are you doing inviting another guy over after basically telling me you were in love with me?" Felix asks. His voice is a rusty dagger, a cruel but clumsy weapon.

Sylvain's answer is equally harsh. He sets his usual playful warmth aside to become a blizzard. "I didn't say that. And why do you care what I do? I was lonely. I wanted some company. Do you realize how annoying I would be if I begged for your affection after you turned me down? You said no."

Felix can't see anything but ice in Sylvain's eyes. "But I didn't _mean_ no. I just wanted—"

"To hurt me? That's worse."

"Stop." Felix walks forward until he can put his hand on Sylvain's shoulder. He can't let Sylvain to pull away from him. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I shouldn't have said what I did."

"Okay," Sylvain says. It's not exactly forgiveness, but Felix didn't exactly apologize, so he thinks it evens out. "What _did_ you want?"

"I wanted to keep ignoring it," Felix says, averting his eyes in shame. "I was mad that you wanted to talk about it. But you were right." He looks at Sylvain, who doesn't look back at him. "Can we still talk?"

"I guess."

Felix isn't used to leading a conversation. He fumbles around for words and voices the first thought that crosses his mind. "I thought you said you weren't looking to have kinky sex anymore." He tries not to let it sound accusatory.

"Well, I changed my mind," Sylvain says. He still won't make eye contact. He leans back on his forearms and stares up at the ceiling. "I thought that if I was going to feel worthless, it might as well be the kind that gives good orgasms."

Felix takes a step back. "Worthless?" he says, his volume stolen away by shock. "I— I would never want you to feel worthless."

"It's fine. I like being degraded. It reminds me what I really am." Sylvain says it so casually that it must be the truth to him. Felix's chest tightens.

"But you liked it when I was nice to you in bed," Felix says. He doesn't frame it as a question. He doesn't give Sylvain room to deny it. "Can I— Would you let me be nice to you like that again?"

Sylvain raises an eyebrow. "Oh, so you _are_ interested in an encore performance? You liked playing to the crowd that much?"

"No, jackass, I like you. I want to sleep with you because I like you. _I like you._ " Felix pauses, licks his lips. "I'm sorry I wasn't ready to admit it before."

Sylvain's eyes go wide. He stares at Felix with his jaw hanging open. The ice between them melts to reveal a void of deep, deep awkwardness. A full two minutes of silence stretches out between them before Felix pummels down his embarrassment long enough to say, "If you've changed your mind about me, I can go."

"No!" Sylvain's hand shoots out to grab Felix's wrist. "No, don't go. Please stay. I just. I just don't know what to say." He bites his tongue, swallows, speaks again. "I've been in love with you for so long, I didn't think I could ever get you to be interested in me. Is this—is this real? Because if you're trying to figure out how jokes work, this is too mean to make anyone laugh." Sylvain chuckles. It's an inelegant, terrified sound.

"You're saying 'love' now?" Felix asks. He's not complaining, just surprised.

Sylvain grimaces. "Sorry, it slipped out. This doesn't have to be that serious. We can be whatever you want us to be."

Felix bites his lip. "What if I want us to be serious?"

"Do you?" Sylvain asks. Ugh, it's a genuine question. He doesn't believe Felix yet, and Felix isn't good enough with words to convince him. He'll have to show him.

Felix kneels slowly, feeling the burn of Sylvain's gaze on him. He reaches out for his waistband. "You don't have to do that," Sylvain says, but he makes no effort to stop Felix's hands.

"I want to do this," he replies. "I want to be with you." Felix tugs Sylvain's underwear down far enough to expose his cock and grasp it firmly. It's sizable even when soft, sitting heavy and warm in Felix's hand.

It's even warmer in his mouth. Felix works his tongue around the head, eager to taste him. Sylvain groans. He throws his head back and makes a fist in the sheets. Felix licks him sloppily. He's no good at this and he knows it, but Sylvain doesn't seem to need him to have skill. He just needs Felix to keep going.

Felix's saliva runs down the length of Sylvain's cock, making it slick when Felix strokes him. He sucks and bobs his head in an off-kilter rhythm, and Sylvain moans like this is the best blowjob he's ever gotten. His hand grips the sheets so tightly his knuckles turn white. Felix peels Sylvain's hand away from the bed and puts it on his own head.

"Pull my hair," he says. He looks back down at Sylvain's carefully manicured happy trail, too mortified by his own request to make eye contact. Sylvain doesn't mock him for changing his mind about it. He just pulls.

The tugging at his scalp goes straight to Felix's dick. He moans around Sylvain's cock, which makes Sylvain's grip on his hair go even tighter. It's a cycle of electric pleasure that Felix has no intention of stopping. He slurps and strokes Sylvain's cock, saliva dripping from his mouth down his hand.

Sylvain's moans turn to words. "Felix, wait, please, Felix please," he says, desperately tugging on Felix's head. Felix is loathe to take his mouth off Sylvain's cock, but he stops licking to listen. "You gotta stop blowing me, Fe."

"No way," Felix says. The words come out muffled, and he sucks hard to get his point across. 

Sylvain shudders and swears. He pushes Felix's shoulders away, chasing him off his cock. " _Please,_ " he says. "I'm really close, and I want to be kissing you when I come."

That's the only thing worth stopping the blowjob for. Felix launches himself onto the bed. His weight pins Sylvain to the mattress. "You're so fucking embarrassing," Felix says before he seals his mouth over Sylvain's. Sylvain shoves his tongue into Felix's mouth as soon as he can.

Making out with Sylvain is even better than blowing him. Felix swallows every little moan Sylvain makes when Felix's hand crests over the head of his cock. It's leaking so much that anyone would think Sylvain got more than just a mediocre blowjob and an average handy. Felix hates to think what a mess Sylvain could make of him with just his hands or his absurdly talented tongue. It would probably make this look downright tidy.

Sylvain's hands are everywhere. He grabs Felix's ass, lifts the hem of his shirt by dragging his hands up Felix's back, circles forward to play with Felix's nipples. While one hand stays on his chest, the other settles in Felix's hair. Sylvain tugs the hair tie out from the loose ponytail, freeing Felix's hair to cascade around his shoulders. It surrounds them like a curtain.

"You know," Felix says between kisses, "if we were on camera right now, this would be a terrible view."

"Good thing we're not on camera, then," Sylvain says. He's breathless, his voice strained. He thrusts into Felix's hand and pulls his hair. Felix can't decide which one feels better.

Sylvain's tongue is in Felix's mouth when his cum spills out over Felix's fingers. His kissing turns sloppy. His hand slips out of Felix's hair, and Sylvain falls boneless against the mattress. "That was really good," he says. A sleepy smile plays about his lips. "What do you want me to do for you?"

"I'm fine," Felix says. He lays down beside him, head propped up on his hand so he can look at Sylvain's face.

"Don't be like that," Sylvain says. He stretches out his hand to rub Felix's half-hard cock over his jeans. "My ass is lubed up already. Or I can give you head. I'll suck you off every day for the rest of our lives if you want." 

"That's a weird proposal. Definitely different from that promise we made as kids."

"Come on, Felix. Wasn't it good last time?"

Felix's cock grows a little harder. He swallows before answering. "Yeah. It was really good last time."

Sylvain lays his hand on Felix's chest and pushes him flat on his back. He watches Sylvain straddle him, bare legs surrounding him like a cage. Felix runs his hands up Sylvain's muscled thighs. His cock hangs down between them, thick and heavy and begging to be licked back to hardness.

Before Felix can make good on this impulse, Sylvain grinds the heel of his palm against his clothed cock and chases the thoughts out of Felix's head. "Let me make you feel good again," Sylvain says. "Please?"

"Well, you do have a very talented tongue," Felix replies. "It would be a shame not to let you use it."

"Yay!" Sylvain keeps his voice quiet to mask his genuine enthusiasm, which only serves to highlight it. Maybe Felix _should_ let Sylvain suck him off every day. He didn't think giving him oral would make Sylvain this excited, but that light is back in his eyes again. It glows like a fire in a hearth, warming Felix's chest as it burns. 

"How do you want me? On my knees again?" Sylvain shifts his weight, getting ready to hop off the bed, but Felix shakes his head.

"It's fine like this."

"You got it." Sylvain doesn't bother undressing him. He just unzips Felix's pants, pulls his cock out of his underwear, and leans down. Felix gasps when he enters the heat of Sylvain's mouth. He doesn't think he'll ever get used to this. 

It's gentler than the first blowjob was. Sylvain doesn't use as many of his fancy tricks to impress him. Maybe he's just too tired to deepthroat him, but Felix doesn't mind. He thinks he might like this more. Sylvain's eyes are half-closed with concentration, his eyelashes fluttering as he works Felix's cock with his hand. He lowers his head to take more of Felix’s shaft into his mouth, and his hand drops down to fondle Felix’s balls. Sylvain keeps his touch light, mindful of their sensitivity as he massages them. One of his fingers strays further back to rub a knuckle against his perineum, but then he’s back to using his hand to guide Felix’s cock into his mouth. It pokes into the side of Sylvain’s face.

Felix strokes Sylvain’s cheek, feeling the bulge of his own cock through the skin. It is, unfortunately, not a subtle gesture. Sylvain looks knowingly up at Felix, his eyes crinkling in a smile. He rubs Felix's cockhead against the inside of his cheek, letting it stretch out his face under Felix's hand. Felix gulps.

Sylvain runs his tongue around the tip of Felix’s cock and dips into the center to taste the liquid that wells up in the slit. Felix shudders and finds himself reaching out to push Sylvain’s hair out of his face. It’s soft between his fingers, so he runs his hands through it, his nails scraping lightly against Sylvain’s scalp. Sylvain looks up at him with his eyes dark and wanting, and Felix's chest aches. He wonders if Sylvain can tell somehow. Maybe he can hear the pounding of his heart or feel his pulse thudding through the veins in his cock. 

Sylvain's hand wanders again. It traces a line down the length of Felix's shaft and drops between his balls, moves past his taint to circle his hole. Sylvain strokes the puckered skin, taking advantage of the sensitivity but never pressing inside. Felix wouldn't have minded much if he did slip a finger in. His muscles clench at the thought of Sylvain stretching him open with those thick fingers, but then Sylvain sucks at the head of his cock, and Felix wouldn't dare think of anything else.

Everything Sylvain does fans the fire burning in Felix's belly. Every tiny movement of his lips or flick of his tongue sends lightning through Felix's nerves. Sylvain keeps looking up at him with his lips stretched wide around his cock, which would bring Felix to his knees if he wasn't already sitting on a bed. His toes curl, pleasure thrumming through his body.

"I'm gonna come," he says. Felix moves his hand to Sylvain's shoulder. He doesn't push him off his cock this time, but he doesn't want his hand on Sylvain's head to feel like pressure to swallow.

Sylvain probably made his choice as soon as his lips touched Felix's cock. He keeps them tight around the head as Felix comes, drinking down every drop he can. Sylvain swallows cleanly.

"I knew your cum would taste good," he says, licking his lips to make sure he didn't miss any. "I can't believe you made me wait to try it."

"I thought I was being polite," Felix argues.

"By coming on my face?"

"By not coming down your throat!"

"And what about this time? Did you realize it's not polite to make a huge mess all over my face?" Sylvain is teasing him, but Felix can't help giving a serious answer. 

"No, dumbass, I just wanted—" A blush rises in his cheeks. On second thought, ignoring him would have been better. Felix plows on, doomed by his own decision to speak. "I wanted you to get the chance to do what you wanted to do."

He keeps his eyes fixed on the sheets beside Sylvain's knee out of the sheer embarrassment of it all, which means he has no idea what Sylvain's reaction is when he doesn't say anything back. Several beats of silence pass before Felix gives in and looks up reluctantly.

Sylvain's eyes are glittering. His lips form words that never make it past his tongue. Felix wonders if he broke him somehow, like him showing emotion is as difficult for Sylvain to process as it is for Felix. He puts his hand on Sylvain's knee, and the dam inside Sylvain's mouth breaks, releasing the words in a flood.

"I want you to stay here tonight," Sylvain says. It's not a demand, but it's not a question this time, either. He lays his hand over Felix's. Felix turns his hand palm up, and Sylvain immediately laces their fingers together and squeezes. "I want to find out what it feels like to fall asleep holding the person I love. I want to wake up with you in my arms."

"So you want to be the big spoon?" Felix's eyes are focused on their intertwined hands. He can't look at Sylvain's face now. He's already used up his stock of bravery in the face of embarrassment.

When Sylvain answers him, Felix can hear the smile in his voice. "I'll be whatever gets you to stay."

It's a very smooth line, the effect of which is utterly ruined when Sylvain's stomach growls like a monster. He turns bright red. Felix laughs so hard that it winds him.

"Have you eaten anything today?" he asks, wiping an actual tear from his eye.

"Does cock count?" Sylvain replies without missing a beat. Felix says nothing. "How about cum?" Felix says nothing again, but louder and more judgmental.

"Alright, put some pants on and get your ass to the kitchen. We are eating dinner."

"But it's ten PM."

"And you probably only have cup ramen, but that's better than nothing." And better than cum, Felix doesn't say.

"I don't know if cup ramen is better than cum," Sylvain says. Felix throws a pillow at him.

There is a disturbingly large amount of instant ramen in Sylvain's otherwise barren kitchen. Felix selects two at random and presses the switch on the electric kettle. Sylvain's stomach growls pathetically while they wait the three minutes it takes for their noodles to cook.

"Okay, I admit it," Sylvain says, throwing his hands up in surrender. "Cum has no nutritional value. Now stop giving me that look."

"You mean my 'I told you so' look?"

"I don't think it's smug enough for 'I told you so.' It's just a judgey glare."

"Hmm. I'll have to work on it," Felix says. "Luckily, being with you will give me plenty of opportunities to practice."

"How mean," Sylvain says, sounding like he doesn't mind at all.

When they're almost done devouring their shitty late dinner, Sylvain laughs to himself and points at the label of their ramen cups. "Haha. Cum ramen."

Felix snaps his chopsticks in half.

"Hey! Those weren't disposable."

"You're about to be disposable," Felix says. "I can't believe I'm in lo—like with you."

Felix squeezes his eyes shut and hopes that Sylvain somehow didn't hear him. He feels like he slipped off the edge of a mountain. Now he's hanging by his fingertips from one of those spindly little trees that grow out of cliff faces in cartoons. He should probably just let go and drop to his doom, except that he's fucked up his own metaphor because there's nothing at the bottom of the canyon except saying _I love you_ and Felix is _not_ saying that.

Not yet, anyway.

Oh god.

Sylvain very kindly does not comment on Felix's vocal misstep, the way his eyes bounce around the room looking for an escape, or the death grip Felix has on his broken chopsticks. He just takes Felix's hand, gently uncurling his fingers to take the splintering wood away from him.

"Do you want to dump the rest of these and come back to bed with me? I want to try being the little spoon for once, and I can't think of a better person to hold me than you."

Sylvain's smile is shy and tender, and it makes Felix's heart pound loudly in his chest. He almost says no just to keep Sylvain from hearing how embarrassing it is, but Sylvain's smile grows even softer somehow as he holds out his hand. Felix takes it. How could he do anything else?

He's surprised by how comfortable it is to lie in Sylvain's bed with Sylvain's body pressed close against his own. Felix slings one arm over Sylvain's waist and rubs his thumb over the back of Sylvain's hand. Felix's other arm lies beneath Sylvain's torso, where it will soon go numb. He cups Sylvain's pec to make it worth it.

"So, are you going to quit this OnlyFans thing now?" he asks when he starts to lose feeling in his arm.

"Why would I do that?" Sylvain turns over to face him. He sounds genuinely confused.

"Because you have—" Felix stops himself an instant before he says _me._ That would cross the arbitrary line he's set up between himself and being too sentimental.

"Because I have... what?" Sylvain asks. A teasing smile plays at his lips. "If I had a boyfriend who wanted me to quit, I suppose we could talk about that."

Felix grunts. Sylvain's smile gets bigger.

"Do I have a boyfriend, Felix? Or do you just want to keep this casual? We don't have to be exclusive."

What a fucking asshole. He's obviously baiting Felix into admitting he wants to be in a relationship with Sylvain. Which he does. But Felix doesn't want to _say_ it.

"You have a boyfriend who's going to delete your fucking account," he says, his ears burning with the weight of his confession.

Sylvain grins widely. His eyes crinkle with joy. His expression is so tender that the embarrassment melts away from Felix's chest to be replaced by an unfathomably fond feeling that does not help to cool his cheeks. Sylvain scoots his head closer to Felix's so he can press their foreheads together. 

"I thought you wanted to be the little spoon," Felix grumbles.

"I guess we'll both just have to be verse spoons," Sylvain says loftily. Then, with complete sincerity, "I missed looking at your face."

Felix flushes so hard he's sure Sylvain can feel the heat on his own cheeks. "You're so sentimental already."

Sylvain laughs. "I've been in love with you forever, Felix! Cut a guy some slack." His eyes go all soft and tender again. "You know, I've never had a real boyfriend before. Never been a real boyfriend before either. Are you sure you want to let me try?"

Felix kisses him. His lips linger on Sylvain's mouth. It's surprising how unwilling he is to let the kiss end. "It's too late to try to get rid of me, Sylvain. This is a thing now. Be happy about it."

"I can't imagine being happier than this." Sylvain's eyes flick up toward the ceiling. When he looks at Felix again, there is a mischievous glint in his eye. "Well, I can think of one way."

"And what's that?" Felix asks, frowning suspiciously.

"It's nothing big! Just addressing something you said last time," Sylvain says brightly. "The thing is, if you're willing to suck me off, you can sixty-nine me, right?"

"Oh my god." Felix rolls his eyes and holds back a laugh. "You have got to let this go. I'm not changing my mind about sixty-nining being a stupid position they just made up for porn."

"Oh no. Our first fight as boyfriends." Sylvain wipes a fake tear from his eye. "Will our relationship survive?"

"Sure it will. When I win, there won't be a problem anymore."

Sylvain bursts out into raucous, infectious laughter that quickly spreads to Felix. They laugh hard enough to make their stomachs ache. "You are so stupid," Sylvain says, "and I love you so much."

Felix can feel his gaze soften when he looks at Sylvain. "I love you too, dummy. Good night." He presses a kiss to Sylvain's forehead and settles into his arms for what turns out to be the best night's sleep of Felix's entire life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's a wrap! Thanks to everyone involved in this project: [Sara](https://twitter.com/sawaT___T) for the beautiful art, [Diana](https://twitter.com/letrasette) for the amazing carrd coding, and you for reading all the way to the end! 
> 
> Here is [Sara's tweet](https://twitter.com/sawaT___T/status/1314437502086701057?s=19) with the chapter 3-4 art and a new [promo tweet](https://twitter.com/bottomsylvain/status/1314418359497236480) for the fic on [my profile](https://twitter.com/bottomsylvain). Please be sure to check out the new tweet thread for info about what we're planning to do next for this fic project!


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